Hello, Chips here with a review.
I found your poem title to be humorous, so I was expecting a hint of that through your poem. But I found it to be more sentimental, which is not necessarily a negative thing. I liked how your formatted this piece and the rhyme scheme was executed pretty well.
"Zero gravity keeps my dreams floating,
It keeps my mothers heart hoping,
It stops my lungs from smoking. "
This was a nice start though "zero" wouldn't be my idea choice of wording. Perhaps simply, *No gravity*? Otherwise its fine. I liked the reference to dreams sustaining the need to smoke too.
"I'm a river, always flowing,
Though I might be choking,
A smile keeps them all from knowing."
The rhyming flowed well here. Though, there were too many commas in your first line I think. Maybe removing the comma next to "river".
"You made my true emotions start showing,
The hollow heart I had, started glowing,
And I was frozen, before you made it stop snowing."
Nice imagery used in the last sentence here. The second line read slightly choppy, there seemed to be word misplacement, which could be easily rephrased.
"I want you to know just in case,
You change your mind, I'm easy to replace,
My problems aren't something time can erase. "
The line referencing, "easy to replace", was an odd phrase since that's not what people would usually like to call themselves, i found it interesting although slightly confusing.
Overall this was a nice piece. Hope this review helped. Keep writing!
--Chippy.
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