and as the ceramics reflect in two meanings, I laugh along
i.
Oh, how promiscuously has this giant slept.
In roadside ditches, with off-pavement glare tattooing his eyelids red,
or in trash bins, collecting the scratched off tickets and tear-laundered cash
of a world forgotten, dead as the lotto winner you hate.
Sing him a song, sanguine Romeo,
you gay lovers of the dark-dank kind. But I’ve put up my halitosis shields
to keep the AIDs away and both of you gay:
bisexual is just another word for politics.
ii.
Scrape off your crustaceous longings and purge away that shade of red.
I feel up your combustible height, but the only element within
is that of crumpled pages and gold bound bibles. There’s nothing here for me to free.
Compact your hope into a rubber ball, and I’ll rebound it off and against that brick stump of ‘Negligence’.
Could you have felt this without him showing you how?
iii.
Eros has swapped a quiver for a can, and favors the brush over the blade.
As some melodramatic refraction to show us the way, I can’t help but smile
at this silly guise of floating lies.
Still, in shaft and shard resides those pigments of perfection,
pierce this my anti-gravity fiend, painting my veins a grayscale Van Gogh
while fluttering about with your preconceived notions about the nature of conception and such ridiculous concepts as hate; what could a slumbering behemoth dream to that?
Still, there’s no spite in the fake nor hate in the snake,
But there is a u in stupid.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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I think poems such as these need to be looked deep into, really if you "uncode" every line the meaning is right there and you're like "ah...I get it. That's awesome!" I love poems like that. Though I did get about half of the meaning, I'm still TRYING to understand, lol. The imagery and wording was great. I loved the metaphors. Great job on this!
~Keep it up!
~Rieda
Hehe, I really need to stop commenting on your poems, darling, I never say anything constructive!!! In this case, though, I kind of only half-get it (which, for me, isn't strange when it comes to poetry, but I'd gotten so used to "getting" your stuff!). I don't suppose you'd care to enlighten a poor ignorant girl?
Wow. I get the feeling I'm kind of missing half of the point of this, but I did enjoy the rhythm and imagery
I'm not sure about the long lines; they threw me a little, and parts of it didnt seem to fit. The transition from "world forgotten" to lotto winner, and then to AIDS etc. seemed jumpy, as did the last line. Overall I find it hard to critique anything though o.o
Sorry to be so lackluster, lol.
~bubbles
Hmmm. Kudos for an awesome title. You have great imagery and good word choice. Sometimes the ideas don't make sense to me or they seem to be very vague. And example would be L8 of S1.
-Evangelina