Hello! I like reading this poem. It has a good vibe to it. But there are some lines that I don't really get like :
"A powerful movement of life into death"
And:
"A needle too far from the right way to die".
I think the 6th line doesn't sound right and also the last line, its like its lacking a word or something. Though it has an image to it but you have to make sure that the readers can understand your poem because there some that doesn't understand metaphorical meanings. So yeah!
Points: 493
Reviews: 35
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