I called out into the night
lost, not able to see.
I called and called and called for help
but no one came to me.
I desired a savior,
a protector, a friend,
a father, a mother,
family, and kin,
but that life was not set for me.
Only one thing was set for me
and that thing for me was set.
Only one thing was set for me,
and that was simply death.
I'm supposed to die for something,
but would it die for me?
Is it true that death,
is such a bad destiny?
I yearn to know what is it for?
What is so greatly true,
that it would take the life of me,
and not the life of you?
So in the forest I will cry,
for those who will never come to me
I'll pray and pray and pray for light,
but never again will I see.
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Canary word: Present
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Wow, amazing poem, you must have worked very hard on it. It flowed well and your choice of words was great. I don't think I really need to correct anything, this is fantastic. No spelling or grammar errors that I can see, over all I really liked this. I think I'll read it again.
This is an awesome poem. I love the the rhythm of it.
"I'm supposed to die for something,
but would it die for me?
Is it true that death,
is such a bad destiny?"
It seems like you actually put work into the poem. Its great. <3
This is an amazing poem. It is vague, but that's the glory of poetic liberty; that not everything has to make sense all at one time. I, of course, am not a very poetic writer, and all my stories always require background information. I do try to work on not giving so much though; it's interesting to know about the characters and setting, but it's much more fun to discover these things for yourself at the end of a writing, when everything slides into place.
This poem doesn't give any background, but we definately get the feel of the narrator. In short, great job!
Overall, pretty good poem! It seems like one of those poems that leaves a lot of things to the reader's imagination, which is good, for a poem is not a lecture and should leave things out.
The third stanza tripped me up a bit with all of the repetition, and I found that I had to reread it a few times to grasp its meaning. Maybe you could expand on that stanza a bit, or try and make it a so that it is a little more comprehensible the first time around.
Everything else seems fine in my eyes. Very nice!