Eternity of rest

I liked this poem a lot! I think you did a really good job! Great job!

My first impression of this poem is that I like it. It has something of a pessimistic tone and for a long time I went through that phase, I'm not even sure if I'm out of it yet. What I'm trying to say is that a reader can relate to this poem and that's defineately a good thing.

My second thought was why has no one critiqued it. I attempt to read the poems that have the least views and criticisms because I feel that it's fairer if everyone gets at least one comment so here's yours...

I think this poem would work better if you seperated it into stanzas and capitalised the first word of each line. It doesn't necessarily have to be a regular structure but it's quite daunting to look at one huge block of test, especially for the average modern reader. In fact, a regular structure would probably not work for this poem. Tell you what, here's some changes I would make -

When the only thing to see,
Is in yourself,
And the only thing to find of worth,
Is what you care about.
When the only thing worth living for,
is what keeps you to Earth.
In the modern world
Such behaviour can we find?
Or is it what the human race
Completely left behind?

Did they leave what they know?
What they see?
Did they find what wasn't destiny?
Did they go too far?
And leave all pleasure and worth to the stars?
Did they forget what they live for?
Did the human race,
Forget what they adore?
Did they live without care too long?
And then they forgot what caring is for?

Bills, taxes and life,
Turned to nothing but strife.
Now everyone has something to hide.
Sometimes so big,
As to tempt suicide.
It forces some to stress,
Those do not wish to live.
While others live happily,
But have little to give,

The human race,
Has it pushed it's self,
To its own death?
Extinction?
An eternity of rest