Young Writers Society

I live in Scotland and I don't know very much on the shutdown in America, I do know a little however. So for me this poem hasn't hit me very hard at all. I'm sure many people from the USA will find deeper meaning in your poem than myself. Having said that I did enjoy the poem and felt it was a good portrayal of society as a whole.

Anyone who believes infants can run a country

Has obviously never seen one when it's hungry.

Hi wewinwelose, Dream with review on your poem.

Your poem highlights how politics and government ostensibly just pretending for the sake of liberty and security for the people.It's a bit about religious when you say 'A country founded under God'. I wonder Why does you involve divinity in the poem that speaks of political malfunction. Perhaps to say that 'this land belongs to our God, but the government ruled this place with the desire of intrigue and you have the right to defend / make your own destiny?'

A country founded under God ..
And say we won't put up with it
For the sake of our own peace, and our own liberty.

Hey!

I hope I can be of some help.

I liked this poem, although the fact that I'm not American probably means that I'm not as affected by it as others may be.
But saying that I still really enjoyed this poem. As it also speaks about the world in general and the state of politics everywhere.

As for whether you still have talent, don't worry, you have heaps!!

Now to do some reviewing.

To be honest I don't really have much to critique in way of grammar, punctuation and whatnot. It was well written.

I liked your use of rhyme, it wasn't forced and also wasn't the main centre piece of the poem. Meaning that you didn't realise it rhymed until after you finish reading it, it simply flows. Whilst there are bits where it doesn't rhyme, they also flow too, so good job!

I like how you have used phrases and sayings that many politicians have used such as 'security' and 'for the sake of liberty'. Except you have changed them to have their own meaning. Adding the extra depth and meaning to the poem.

Basically, you have written a good poem with a message that many people (politicians especially) need to hear.

Good job and please continue writing!
Nargles xx

Again, I have not written in about two years and therefore am completely lost in the new style of the website, so I apologize that this is not formatted correctly, I will learn eventually!