Hey!
Not a review, I just wanna say how much this relates to me whenever I'm feeling down and just really under the weather (mentally). Hearing you read the poem makes me emotional so thank you for making this. I absolutely love it!
Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.
TW: mental health, suicide, swearing
this is a piece of me ranting during a low point, talking about mental health and trying to cope by writing. what starts off as random thoughts in my head gets put together in a way that's understandable when i put them on to paper. i hope you can take something from it and i hope anyone struggling understands that they are not alone.
xoxo, veeren
please listen as you read i beg of you: https://soundcloud.com/v333r/car-session/s-StJTyRf...
this is me reciting the poem out loud, as it should be read.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CAR SESSIONS
the only time i pray is when
im praying for forgiveness
for fame for fortune for fucked up shit
new forms of torture
these torches touring through each and every morsel (of me)
and sometimes i wish my momma had an abortion
no portion (of me)
should be stuck in this horse shit
screaming and crying in every corner im forced in
its
unbelievable this gift we call life
its just me its just you every
day every night
and we fight through the highs and the lows like we might
raise a toast, like its bright on the other side
what a sight but
of course its
just a dream just our imagination running wild
where brick walls aren't built up to keep me locked inside my mind
where the only time ill get peace is when people tell me to rest in it
(ill be fine)
maybe ill get arrested and theyll take it as a sign
and i can plead to the jury these thoughts they werent mine
so they can give me the fucking chair or put a gun between my eyes
i realize that
hope shouldnt be hard to find
but what is it that i do when im lost and im tired
cus the weight of my ways makes me want to retire,
but i live for better days and for people i admire
im no liar (but)
i got a special way of talking when my head is on fire
i wanna say too much but i know ill be quiet
cus theres a million ways to fuck up but only one to be silent
Hey!
Not a review, I just wanna say how much this relates to me whenever I'm feeling down and just really under the weather (mentally). Hearing you read the poem makes me emotional so thank you for making this. I absolutely love it!
Hi. A review. I think this is really good. It really stand out and it holds peoples attention easily. I Love that it flows really well. so thank you for writing this. I love it so thanks.
'just a dream just our imagination running wild
where brick walls aren't built up to keep me locked inside my mind
where the only time ill get peace is when people tell me to rest in it
(ill be fine)'
This was probably my favorite part. Thank you for doing this once again bc it was really good
Hey,
this isn't a review but I just wanted to say how much I liked this.
I thought it was very interesting, so thank you for sharing this.
Hey,
Your topic makes it hard to review but here it is.
"no portion (of me)
should be stuck in this horse shit
screaming and crying in every corner im forced in"
It is quite remarkable how you put driving of car on a road as the way to express your agitated state. That is how I see it and it is quite catchy if I'm right.
"and we fight through the highs and the lows like we might
raise a toast, like its bright on the other side"
I guess that car would be passing through a tunnel. lol. And then later you got arrested. You should have done it in every para of this recitation. Like the act of driving the car and your description of your mental health goes hand in hand. I am not a very good driver but you could have done better in this.
"cus the weight of my ways makes me want to retire"
This statement was a bit disambiguous. "cus the ways of my plight/flight/path makes me want to retire". The poet decides what he thinks and you are in full control of what it should be. It is just a suggestion.
The rhyme is 100 and it is exemplary how you put this topic into play.
Thanks
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