drowning

"Washing my feet in a poison I can't stand" was an awesome line. I like how you compare his goodbyes and hellos to waves. I do agree with the reviewer below about the fact that you said you want that pain to go away and then say you want it to stay forever, because it is kind of confusing. Otherwise, this is flawless. "No anchor to keep you from straying" also sounds beautiful to me.

I wasn't going to review this until I read your comment about wanting a critique and decided that you deserve one for this, almost great poem.

For me, this is totally fake because the end destroyed it. One minute the character is begging for pain to be relinquished and by the end they are begging for the pain to stay. This is why I like and hate the poem, think about it, its likely that the character envied the pain but loved it because without the pain they would be void of any feeling what-so-ever and instead of saying it like that, you showed it to us in a way we could come to that conclusion ourselves which seldom happens. Thus the true glory here was hope and so they hung onto that pain, wanting it and needing it to feel. Another thing I am surprised at was how connected the image of an anchor too the connection of the waves which conveys a realness, of actually being in the moment philosophizing using the imagery as the key to understand the deepness of the characters emotions.

Although, on a conscious level the character literally says they hope it goes away, and minutes after they are begging for it to stay. That is not real. Instead of brilliant, it is sloppy and seems that it is merely a typo/oversight, the metaphors do not act a transition from this radical change of thought. I would much prefer if the character showed somehow, unconsciously that they truly needed it and wanted it instead of pretending that they so openly contradict their own emotions.

Referring to water as poison is ambiguous, and because it's not important to the conflict/shows another personality trait that's irrelevant, I'd say it's worse then giving us some concrete imagry, so sometimes your poetry just gets random. Also, I think saying the pain is escapable means that, the character isn't in love at all? How does that make sense when building these harsh emotions? Besides you should be showing us how escapable/in escapable this pain really is.

And although, it is not a very critical example to be said in a review, I'd agree and say that the third stanza just doesn't make any sense nearing the end, and that breath of sorrow is a very bad image/cliche.

lastly, even though it worked very well, the third stanza is the biggest cliche of them all.

There is more, but essentially I am mixed on this one. Keep writing veer

I really like the image you portray in this poem. I think the river was a good choice to use for showing how the narrator is stuck/anchored while the "you" is floating away (at least that's how I saw it). It's full of emotion and a possible longing. I also love how you numbered the lines in the stanzas--5, 4, 3, 2, 1--and I think it makes the last line the most effective. I would maybe capitalize the "i"s in the poem, and put quotation marks around "hi" so that it doesn't sound like the pronoun "his". Other than that, Great poem! I enjoyed reading this, good job!

This poem is so raw and emotional I really like it. The last word being isolated sounds awkward and makes the reader pause, but I think that it works so well with the overall tone of your poem and sinks into the dislocated, painful longing that it effortlessly portrays.
My favourite stanza is the third one as the imagery is so beautiful ('no anchor to keep you from straying/ to and fro as you please') and the use of vocabulary fits so well ('effortlessly float'). Even though we know next to nothing about the person on the other side of the love, it's easy to see how you or the subject of the poem feels about them.
In the first stanza, the imagery is quite abstract and I feel like it doesn't really pull readers in that much. But that being said many poets use abstract or interesting beginnings successfully in writing so if thats what you were going for then good job

I understand a deep connection with this and so I applaud you. This is very good and I think that many people can relate to it. Some typing needs attention but the overall poem is very very good. I liked how you used poison indicating that it's a bad feeling. I hope you continue to write like this!

Very heartfelt, I can tell it means something to you. Most poetry means something to the writer but not often does it truly express their connection with it. The only thing I would think on was "of his and hellos" I assume you mean instead of "his" as in "him" you mean Hi as in a greeting. so make sure yo put an apostrophe like "hi's." Much less confusing and therefore flows better. You are very talented and I'm excited to hear more of your work in the future.