If Random Were a Language, I Would Eat Chocolate

This has to be one the most random poetry I've ever read and it's wonderful.

This is one of the few Poems I've read that's spoken to me... ok the only one the randomness of it all, it's inspired me to keep being random.

10/10 would recomend everyone to read this. Thank you for this masterpiece

A year later and still I say, Bravo.

honestly . . .

what even is this and why is it so good

“Douglas Adams faked his death?!”

LIZ is here in the room ready for a review!!!!!!


This is fantastic!!!!!! I truly loved it. There was no point setting the name that long, it is kinda an irrelevant title.

MY favorite part is, "Had Black not told me to write this, I would've never fell asleep,The horse never would've bit the cow,and the mule would've never told the rat to go fishing., because it is like an intro!!!


IIIIIIIIII Love it.

THIS IS SO BEAUTIFULLY RANDOM. It's amazing.

Hi! Thought I'd drop in for a quick review.

From the title to the last line of the poem, everything's shining in humor and randomness. The words flowed out smoothly (even though they weren't that meaningful) and the grammar was flawless. I loved it! Speaking of love, a rat stole my cheese today. Why? Because it loved cheese, that's so obvious. However, everything in this universe is not so obvious. You gotta be clever to survive. I think there's a simile for that, but I forgot whether it was 'as clever as a fox'or 'as clever as a dog'. By the way, my dog ate my homework, so the teacher made me go outside the classroom and to pass the time, I was browsing the internet randomly on my phone and came upon this awesome poem.

It's so random!

Hey.

Lol what even.. xD Okay this was really awesome, cool idea. I loved the whole thing, the title got me into it so..

And obviously, no glitches in your language of course (no criticism I guess) and punctuatttiooonnn, why no punctuation? I know it's a small thing as compared to your compositions, but it's just a personal suggestion, I kinda like it.

So there, your creations are just awesome, love them a lot! Keep up the awesome job.

Stay blessed.

xoxo

XD This reminds me of that Monty Python quote:

"Grasp the news-reader's nose firmly, waiter, or friendly milk will countermand my trousers."

Hello!

This has made it in and out of the spotlight so many times. I figured I should finally stop by and leave a comment.

This reminds me of dadaism, a movement started during the first world war in Switzerland. The movement, like surrealism, stretched over types of art (visual, poetry, literature, theatre), and consisted of random images. Literally, that was it. Weird images put together.

You see, the dadaists thought that war was bad (they were mostly refugees that fled to Switzerland because of the war), and that war was born from humanity's innate desire for order. It would be all right if they all wanted to live with the same order, but because different systems of order exist (different government types, religions, etc.), war is born from the desire for order.

Because of this, dadaists chose to eschew order in their artwork, choosing random images that are supposed to remind whoever consumes the art that war is ridiculous.

While this is still fairly ordered for a dada poem, I think that it definitely has some aspects of dadaism within it.

Good work. Congrats on all the likes, forever. Hope this was enlightening! Happy YWSing!

Be stupid and you become famous XD. *clears throat* I mean awesome and you become famous .I think this is what kind of poetry I love. This poem certainly was hilarious and I loved it all the way through. Although, I don't think I got half of it . Awesome job!

Um.

Pototoes.

How did you manage to get this featured a second time? xD

XDDDDD Uh... what just happened? *brain explodes* Awesome.

I liked that a lot!! What inspired you to write this???

Who ends a work with "fin" anymore?

Omg you're so old.

<3

hi im genna and this was fuuny. you use a lot of stuff that doesnt make sense but it kinda helped cause you called the poem random so it helps that nothing made sense. i think you could make it longer and more random and that would be funny cause you could make everyone laugh more and show us that random is a language lol. i dont get the choclate thing cause you never talk about it but you never talk about random either but you can tell that everything random cause of how you used the words and stuff so you did a good job with that, but try to make the title realte to the work so we can know what were reading okay?

i think the last line was the best cause it really summed everything up really well when you said it. fin. it shows us that the poem is over so theres no more too it but thats obvious lol anyway good job your a really good writer like the best and youre totally awesome i should follow you like everyone else does. byeeeeeee

This is an awesome poem! To think that all those poets (including me I must say) spend all that time making everything exactly right, making all the lines flow, and end up with nothing but empty opinions, and no pride to show for it. Then here you-a pilot!;)- come waltzing in with an apple eating mouse and hanging coats! Well done, I loved all of it...but in the end I should probably admit that I'm biased and would probably have found something wrong with it if it didn't remind me of someone else who could probably easy outshine you with her absolute randomness...but don't take that as an insult because she could easily outshine ANYONE with her randomness:) But, there, that's off topic and this is supposed to be a review so...10/10!

I really liked this poem! Especially the "pototoes" and the "pilot" part! I wonder how hard it was picking and choosing the words for this poem! I also wonder how some poems have the words delicately chosen and written, and are completely boring, but how this poem is just random sentences put together and it is awesome! (And you just made me hungry for chocolate through a poem!) Great poem.

New user here. Just read your poem and I thought it was funny. Random, yes, but very funny.

I didn't really read the poem but...cooooooool.....yada yada yada....bye....on account of the
comments...it must have been cool. Hey I just say something in it that said:...''He took the apple and ate it. Didn't even bother sharing'' Neat...that part is cool and a couple other sentences and such are interesting...well, nice work! -De12

My oh my oh my. It looks like you made a winner Veeren. 42 likes so far.
Amazing! You are AMAZING!

This is very random.... But I like it!

Willow C. here to review your poem.
I apologize in advance for my personality.

I love it. It's perfect just they way it is. The randomness was perfect and the rythmn was very nice. All in all it was a good poem. I am still waiting for the part that talks about chocolate though.

Why am I the 27th person to read this?! I don't know. I'm lazy, you see.

I have two words for you. Clue-less. Thats what I felt after reading this. Ina good way

If this could get any random-er, I would stop eating chocolate.

But I'll tell you this, it wasn't a waste of my time at all. YOU DID GREAT!

-Divz.

I have three words for you: What. Was. That.

The title was what caught my attention. Because it's so, strange,you've completed the first step, hooking the reader in.

The rest of it was amusing. Didn't make sense, but it was still funny.

Well, I liked this strange poem of yours.
I'd give it three and a half thumbs up.

Hello!

This is incredibly funny! This little piece of work made my entire day. Your're a great poet! ^^

'So then there were three potatoes, of course I call them pototoes, don't ask why'

This was my favorite part because I loved the 'don't ask why.' The flow of the poem was aslo great.

Over all, I hope too read more of your poems! Keep up the good work!

Xoxoxoxs,

Katy

Love the tone and satire, can't tell you what the poem is about though.

I loved this so much because I was laughing the whole time. From the title to the last word, there was a huge smile on my face. Thank you for writing this, you did a very good job. I am still laughing to be honest.

This was fantastically random, hilariously disjointed and I loved every second of it. You really know how to take something funny and silly and write it really well. I especially loved the second stanza because it was especially random and deliciously weird. Good job!

It doesn't really show off your writing skills or technique, but that doesn't mean it isn't a fun piece to read anyway.

This is so nutty the squirrels are jealous of you.

In HomeschooledTeen speak, that translates to "This is totally awesome!"

Beautiful. Simply beautiful. It is a literary masterpiece to rival the best. That darn mouse is just so inconsiderate, isn't he. I think you may take the cake for randomness. Or the potatoes or the apple. Please excuse my awful jokes. It is late and I am rambling randomly. Anyway, that was an awesome, random, nutjob-written poem. Well done.

It had an air of satire of it, my friend. I loved it. It was almost like a children's rhyme, yet it was pure and simple it wasn't. I liked how you wrote it to my friend, though the name of this is confusing, but nonetheless it was fantastic. I'll be sure to read your other works, but as always don't count on me being this nice on the others.
With All Do Respect
Wholesomereader.

Hello second assistant nutjob!

>>Nice job<<

Very good, Veer. I really liked this. Hahaha... It sounds like one our chats with you, Crazy and I over at the WriterFeed Pad!! This poem made me laugh.

I really enjoyed this poem. I especially liked the randomness of it, and the fact that it wasn't so serious. Normally when I read poems they're all dark and serious. Good work!

I take this poem as a challenge, I hold the randomness title on YWS. You will hear from me soon, mark my words.

Haha. Ha.

*Not taking this seriously enough to review*

I love the complete and utter randomness of the poem, reminds me of my inner self at times. Great title, great poem, good job! Being as this poem is supposed to be entirely random, I find no fault within it. I commend you on your ability of writing utter nonsense. And you were right! It sure was worth the time it took to read this.

Keep writing random!

~Dakushau

The randomness is amazing... Remind me to drink a few coffees with you at some point...

I don't know if I can review this at all
'cause this is just so fun to read!
I cannot dare think I'd find a fault
in a random poem like this. xD

I'll try to point out some things
though I might make no point.
Was "Had Black not told me to write this"
made intentionally wrong?

'Cause if so, you were not consistent
with the rest of this little tale.
In the sense, the rest was perfect
while that first clause failed.

But mind me not, it's an epic start(!)
confuzzling us the way you did,
just after you've caught our curious eyes
with a title so crazily splendid.

Effective was your free-verse,
being so spontaneously wild.
And I love the way you excluded
the place we called 'outside'.

BSYPR!

This makes more sense than half the poems I read.

I just read a complete amount of randomness. Thank you for that.

I love, love, love this! It is so funny and random! What better than a story about a bunch of things (including potatoes. Got to have the potatoes).

There are no mistakes, so that's awesome!

I don't have much to review so, remember to always be random!!!

Congrats. You have reached the epitome of randomness, or at least the most I have seen in my short lifespan. x3

Hey, dreamy here for the review!

I go from stanza to stanza.

First Stanza

I would've never fell asleep,

While drinking my tenth cup of coffee and smoking my fourth pack of cigarettes of the day, I stumbled upon this piece trying to locate one of those illustrious conspiracy theory websites. Needless to say, I was astounded at how dreadful this poem is. I mean, a mouse, eating apples? What mentally secure rodentia would stoop to such a level. We might as well call him L. Mouse Capone. As for the mention of the cow, you have to ask the essential question of how much corporate agriculture has tainted the minds of out society. The "horse" is obviously a metaphor for the wealthy ranch moguls who persecute the poor cow, however, this particular metaphor is quite pointless, seeing that horses are quite sklled in the mating process.

I would also like to see your pilot credentials, because anyone knows that a good aviationist would have already been prepping the airborne vehicle for takeoff and therefore the mouse was merely trying to be inclusive. Pilot supremacy to mice is a whole other story.

Overall, I give the poem a 127 out of 10, but I think even THAT's generous.

While drinking my tenth cup of coffee and smoking my fourth pack of cigarettes of the day, I stumbled upon this piece trying to locate one of those illustrious conspiracy theory websites. Needless to say, I was astounded at how dreadful this poem is. I mean, a mouse, eating apples? What mentally secure rodentia would stoop to such a level. We might as well call him L. Mouse Capone. As for the mention of the cow, you have to ask the essential question of how much corporate agriculture has tainted the minds of out society. The "horse" is obviously a metaphor for the wealthy ranch moguls who persecute the poor cow, however, this particular metaphor is quite pointless, seeing that horses are quite sklled in the mating process.

I would also like to see your pilot credentials, because anyone knows that a good aviationist would have already been prepping the airborne vehicle for takeoff and therefore the mouse was merely trying to be inclusive. Pilot supremacy to mice is a whole other story.

Overall, I give the poem a 127 out of 10, but I think even THAT's generous.

I love you Veer, but you've sort of baffled me. Lovely piece. Sort of confusing, though.
But good, nonetheless.

This is brilliant. Truly brilliant, Veersies.

This is my favorite bit, I think.

Give me two minutes and I'm sure this'll be worth your time.
Unless you don't have two minutes, in which case,
You don't deserve my time.

First of all, this part below was awesome.

Had Black not told me to write this, I would've never fell asleep,
The horse never would've bit the cow,
and the mule would've never told the rat to go fishing.

Give me two minutes and I'm sure this'll be worth your time.
Unless you don't have two minutes, in which case,
You don't deserve my time. The time that I spent writing this,
is time spent breathing, and had I not breathed while writing this,
I'd probably still not have died yet.

So then there were three potatoes, of course I call them pototoes, don't ask why,
and the last mouse told me to grab them. But of course
me being a pilot and all,
told him to do it himself.
So you know what he did? He took the apple and ate it.
Didn't even bother sharing.

And so last night we completed the ceremony, flowers and all.
Left the coats to hang, and walked out the house into a place we called,
outside.

Fin.

and had I not breathed while writing this,
I'd probably still not have died yet.