you told me you trust me.
you trust me more than anyone else in the world.
that’s what you said.
you trust me.
ㅤ
you told me you love me.
i love you too, but love is a word with many meanings.
you meant it as a friend.
i meant it as lovers.
ㅤ
they told me to confess,
to spill my deepest secret and let you know.
now i’m grateful
i never had the guts to do it.
ㅤ
i guess this crush will have to fade.
i’ll force it to go quiet,
because i always want you happy,
even if that means silently suffering.
ㅤ
i want to be happy for you--
i truly do--
but it’s a knife to the stomach
when the one you love walks by.
ㅤ
still, i want to stand beside you,
to hear the words
i love you
fall from your mouth.
ㅤ
but to call you mine--
that would be crazy,
maybe even insane,
no… selfish.
ㅤ
so i sit in my room,
on my bed,
writing poems about you--
anything but confessing.
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Canary word: Present
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125,025 Literary Works • 672,766 Reviews
Hi hopless!
I'm trying the SMILE method today, to review your interesting piece.
Structure: I notice how every stanza has four lines and the second line is the longest for the first three stanzas. This changes at the pivot point, where the writer (that's you) realises that this crush will have to fade, that these feelings are not forever. But on the other hand the same length of all the stanzas has a smooth, rhythmic feel, conveying how at this point in time, everything has that aura of sameness - how the situation isn't changing.
Meaning:
The poem explores the complex emotions of unrequited love and the internal struggle of maintaining a deep friendship while harboring romantic feelings. The speaker confesses to us that their love is deeper than friendship, but they choose to remain silent to preserve the other person's happiness. The message conveys the pain of loving someone who doesn't reciprocate those feelings romantically and the self-sacrifice involved in prioritizing their happiness over one's own desires - because to confess would be 'selfish'. At least that's how I understand it.
Imagery:
The poem uses vivid imagery! The "knife to the stomach" metaphor gives us the acute pain of seeing the person you love, highlighting the physical and emotional toll of love. The image of sitting in a room, writing poems, emphasizes solitude and introspection, capturing the speaker's internal conflict and unspoken emotions.
Language:
Also your language includes words like "trust," "love," "friend," and "lovers," which underscore the tension between friendship and romantic love. That metaphor ("knife to the stomach") and repetition ("you trust me") enhance the emotional depth of the poem. The use of contrasting phrases, like "love is a word with many meanings," highlights the ambiguity and complexity of emotions.
Effect/Emotion:
The poem evokes a profound sense of melancholy and empathy in the reader. The tone is introspective and bittersweet, as the speaker navigates the pain of unrequited love while valuing the friendship. The mood reflects sadness and longing, as well as admiration for the speaker’s selflessness. The poem leaves the reader with a poignant understanding of the sacrifices made for love and the silent suffering that often accompanies it.
All in all that was a beautiful read as always!
Omg thank you so much!!
hop, i love this! you always get raw feelings across in a few words, and i enjoy so many of your poems <3 keep writing, and i hope you end up doing napo this year!
The author presents a very relatable topic. Unrequited love. We see the author is given promises of trust, and professions of love. However, the trust has limits, and it’s limited by love. You’re egged on to try and leave the friend zone, but you for some reason don’t regret the fact that you didn’t try. This leaves me rather confused. Does that mean the author is satisfied with the current status of the relationship? Or is it because asking for more would cause him to lose what he loves? Because we see the author standing, listening to the words I love you, even though they know it’s true meaning. I feel all of this goes back to the title of the poem very well. Instead of being selfish and pursuing romance, the author deals with the pain and yearning to keep who they love happy. A very beautiful poem, keep it up! My only big suggestion is to make sure you capitalize the first word of each line and you don’t necessarily need commas at the ends of lines since the phrases are already separated and have that space for you to breathe.
The lowercase was on purpose lol!
Thank you so much for the review!!!
I think this is the most realistic setting of friends with benefits when you don't realize that one person is not dating the other. You're strong and so am I. Our husbands are on the way, girl or boy.
I think this is the most realistic setting of friends with benefits when you don't realize that one person is not dating the other. You're strong and so am I. Our husbands are on the way, girl or boy.