The leaves are turning,
The days grow cold,
We all are aging,
Or so I'm told.
⠀
We're still quite young,
Still growing fast,
But not how we used to,
In the distant past.
⠀
You play guitar,
I sing my songs,
Knowing daylight,
Is not as long.
⠀
The trees glow red
With flecks of yellow,
The breeze is brisk
Under the willow.
⠀
Too cold for T-shirts,
Too hot for sweaters,
I warm my arms
In the chilly weather.
⠀
I drink my tea,
Sitting on the grass,
With cloudy skies,
Thinking of the past.
⠀
I remember autumns
From long ago,
Those tiny gloves
That blocked the cold.
⠀
My rosy cheeks,
Your runny nose,
Playing in leaves
Before the snow.
⠀
I reopen my eyes
And see you right there,
And I think I love
How you stare.
⠀
You say I'm kind,
You like my smile.
You tell your friends
I'm worth your while.
⠀
We walk the paths
And through the parks,
In the sunsets
Before the dark.
⠀
You say we're friends,
Though it feels like more,
I have never felt
These things before.
⠀
I never thought
That this would happen,
Never loved,
Nor could imagine.
⠀
And now it feels
Like fall is brighter.
You lit the dark,
A fire igniter.
⠀
So now I love
Each golden autumn,
Where air is crisp,
And the world feels solemn.
⠀
I speak these words,
My voice a sigh.
You are the spark
That lights the sky.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,774 Reviews
If theirs one word to describe your poem, its nostalgia. That's the vibe it gives off. The title fitting for this piece and captures the season. The description is vivid, so imagining the entire scene was easy, from the colors to the cold weather. From lines like...
Or this...
Sprinkled in their is appears to be (going off on my interpretation) are old lovers/couples reminiscing about their days together back when they're younger and starting out as friends and over time enjoy each other's company, even enjoying the little moments like this...
I have no comments on anything to improve on, it looks fantastic. The only thing I could say is keep up the good work <3
Overall your poem beautiful with an air of nostalgia that fits with the Fall/Autumn season. Hope you have a good morning, good evening, and good afternoon! This is RokitaVivi signing out
Hop you always make me sad😔
This review might be a bit weird since I’m on my phone right now so let’s just see how it works
Hop your poems are always so good, this one reminds me of fuzzy wuzzy, when I first started reading this poem it seemed like a cute romance poem but I was sadly incorrect😭
“You say we're friends,
Though it feels like more,
I have never felt
These things before.”
That’s my favorite part, it felt very real to me. That feeling of something being more to you but just platonic to someone else is absolutely torture. This poem was super cute and sad and really fits your vibe of the “hopeless romantic”
Anyway I love this poem keep up the great work! Mwah mwah <3
Your friend,
STARRYY
There's a review I read on the back of one of my favorite books that I constantly think about. I sadly don't have it right now, or I would get the exact wording, but it was about how that particular author was one of the few that got the texture of happiness in his writing. I have since met two writers who I would say match that review for me, personally. One is a friend of mine, and the other is you.
)
I can feel your words, I can smell them, and I can walk on them and dance with them and I can forever remember them. This poem is beautiful
I hope all of us find this kind of love one day.
xx Ellie
Thank you so much <3
This almost made me cry while reading it <3333
Thank you so much <3
This almost made me cry while reading it <3333
of course <33
Hi! This poem is so beautiful! I feel like it accurately sums up the feeling of Autumn, and how it's not quite summer, but not quite winter. I also love all the small details that seem like they're personal. I love your choices of rhymes as well, they're really interesting. This is a really lovely poem, that I feel describes Autumn perfectly. I don't really know what else to say, other than the fact that this is brilliant, and I love it. Keep up your amazing work!
Thank you so much <3
Hi! This poem is so beautiful! I feel like it accurately sums up the feeling of Autumn, and how it's not quite summer, but not quite winter. I also love all the small details that seem like they're personal. I love your choices of rhymes as well, they're really interesting. This is a really lovely poem, that I feel describes Autumn perfectly. I don't really know what else to say, other than the fact that this is brilliant, and I love it. Keep up your amazing work!
Hi! It's your bestest bestie, CATS! (omg I was about to write Hop LOL) And I'll be reviewing this using my (oh so famous) CATS' Opinion Method! Let's HoP in, shall we?
FLASH OF GLOWING EYES
This basically means I skimmed it. The title is PEAK. The way you describe autumn is really stunning. I can feel the memories flowing through me already! The way you made it lowercase somehow feels amazing, I don't know how you do it. Reading on, my friend!
SOFT FUR
Turns out this is full of memory (I KNEW IT!) and a hint of romance in the chilly fall breeze. This poem is bittersweet and great overall. My favorite part is probably going to be:
I love this part mostly of the rhyming, (even if it isn't too consistent), the details, and the imagination of the tree. I think GOLD might fit better, although, that's just my minor preference. I ADORE this part. It flows SO smoothly.
WARM PURR
The part that I thought was done very well was:
This hits deep and hard. The sadness, the spark of joy and nostalgia feels so real. The rhyming is done smoothly and slipped in really slowly so we can feel the narrator's emotions.
SHARP CLAWS
Parts that I think need improvement or suggestions or something like that...
I don't really know...likeee this is a personal preference so you can COMPLETELY ignore it. I think if you read it, the rest of the poem has a steady beat, but you have to kinda rush the words to make it fit. So maybe like:
But that's just an opinion, so you can just leave it, it is already really good.
CONCLUDING MEOW
Overall this poem sparks and brings back so much joy that was left in the falling, crunched leaves, and you truly are a great poet. I love your poems, and I am a huge fan, so YOU BETTER KEEP WRITING THEM.
Happy Poetry, Happy Writing, Happy Reading!
Love,
CATS :3