He said he missed the way I smile,
The way I stayed a little while.
He said he’s changed, he swears he’s new
But broken boys still say “I do.”
He left me once, then came again,
Like storms that beg to be my friend.
He held my hand, then let it go
And now he says he needs me so.
He texts at night, says “please, just talk,”
Like I’m the key, his missing lock.
He says he dreams of what we had,
But dreams don’t fix what made me sad.
He broke me twice, and now he’s here,
With soft apologies and eyes of fear.
He says he’ll stay, he swears he’ll try
But promises can learn to lie.
I want to say the word he needs,
But hearts don’t heal from old repeats.
So when he asks, I look away,
And all I whisper back is
Okay.
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138,861 Literary Works • 672,355 Reviews
Hoppppp stoppppppp
I love you and your poems so much
I'm going to be attempting to review this wonderful piece <3
I love this poem; it's definitely one of my favorite pieces of yours. It definitely hit more since I can relate to it, I love how realistic the poem is, how it doesn't say that the person it's about is 'abusive' but it definitely shows the manipulation the author is going through really well.
"He said he’s changed, he swears he’s new
But broken boys still say 'I do.'"
This is my favorite part; it truly captures something that a lot of manipulators do; saying they've changed when they really haven't. You are an amazing poet and I hope you post more! MwahMwah <3
Your bestie,
STARRYY
This one really knocked the wind out of me. The way you’ve written it feels like a quiet heartbreak wrapped in rhyme—the softness of the rhythm contrasts with the weight of what’s actually happening. That pairing makes the ending all the more devastating, because “Okay” lands not as agreement, but as surrender.
I especially loved the storm metaphor: “Like storms that beg to be my friend.” That’s such a perfect image for someone who keeps coming back into your life with all their chaos. It’s tempting, familiar even, but you know it leaves wreckage. That line alone could sit in my head for days.
There’s also this repetition of “He said” that almost reads like a refrain. It mimics how someone’s promises start to blur together when you’ve heard them too many times—new words, but always the same tune. That choice is subtle but so effective.
The last stanza is what seals it. The build-up of apologies and assurances gets cut down by a single word, “Okay,” and it’s chilling in its quietness. You didn’t need a big dramatic ending; the restraint says more about exhaustion and acceptance than a scream ever could.
This poem feels like you distilled an entire relationship into a cycle of leaving, returning, and refusing to repeat the same pain again. It’s both tender and resolute—and I admire how you balanced both sides.
Hey, cutie! <3 Alex is back with a review for you. So let's get started!
This poem really took my heart out and squeezed it from all the overwhelming emotions. IT'S TOO GOOD, REALLY!!!
I didn't really notice this until my third read so it's very subtle indeed but I think there's a tense issue. 'Said' is past and 'swears' is present. The past is placed before the present which I think makes it even more complex. I might just be easier to change 'said' to 'says'. But otherwise, the phrasing is so compelling. This is actually my favourite line the poem, it sounds like it belongs to a song on the second chance trope.
Absolutely shattering! It shows the vulnerable side of the narrator, fearing if their lover will not be true to their words. They use outside examples to portray their trust issues in such an on-point way. The irony is surprisingly emotional It's such a short line, but it speaks volumes. (Can I have more then one favourites?)
This metaphor is absolutely stunning! When trouble returns and asks to be a part of your life. It's unexpectedly powerful.
Ahhhh.. just beautiful! The pain is so evident and it's clear that the narrator's heart still pains from it.
The tireless trailing looks so realistic. I do have some subtle changes to suggest here-
He texts at night, saying “please, just talk,”
Like I’m the key to his missing lock.
I feel it's more effortless to read now. But as always, it's your call to make!
For a change, I love this bolder shift! The narrator is standing their ground, stating what they endured won't magically disappear with empty apologises. Something is broken inside them and they don't mean to hide or ignore it in the face of love. Good for them!
I believe it can be enhanced to fit the structure better-
With soft apologies and eyes in fear.
YOU NAILED IT YET AGAIN, I CAN'T -
I feel these were meant to reflect the counterpart, and oh boy don't they deliver. The first line so narrative, as if the lead is convincing themselves by the claims their lover lay. And the second one is a thoughtful arrow, hitting at the dead centre.
It's pure perfection!! I'm truly speechless!
I, of course, admire your poetic choices, but this sounded too ambiguous and didn't live up to the hype the poem created. If I may just offer an alternative-
Whispering, "There's nothing left to say"
I do get where you were going with this closing, though. It has a mist of doubt surrounding it. The narrator harbours uncertainty as they aren't able to put the faith into their lover again. But a part of them is still inevitably in love with them. An 'okay' sounds like a surrender, the narrator giving into their lover's wishes. They know it'll end as before, but they yearn to relive their memories again- even if it means going through the pain of it again. Against their best interests, they are unable to fight back love.
All in all, it was splendid read! It's so endearing to see you get better at poetry at everyday. A lover from the narrator's past has returned stirring up old hurricanes. They swear they've changed for the better but the narrator can't bring themselves to believe them after how they left. It's so heartbreaking, seeing them hurt from a love that's long dead. At the same time, it's great to read they call out the lover's past actions and acknowledge how this won't help them heal. An empowering story of picking yourself up and not accepting the hand of the person who pushed you down. Your certainly have your own special way of weaving words. It's deeply impressive, really! It was my pleasure to review this, hoping to read more from you soon.
I was scrolling up through the comments after reading the first and I immediately knew it was you who made this when I was scrolling up. You're just that good at reviewing.
Hey, Hop! Been a long time since I wrote one of these but here we go!
The loaf of bread. (The hook of the story, what drew me in, the plot):
Honestly, it was the title that hooked me, and it was the flow of the poem that led me to continue reading. You also used emotions that the reader can feel, which is also a really good hook!
Slicing/Picking your piece. (Break it down, what happened? What emotions and thoughts were brought up? How do these affect your story/poem):
So, the big feeling that came up was regret, guilt and sadness. You effectively used these emotions to make your reader feel, and you did a very good job on keeping it consistent!
I can also tell that the whole poem is about a toxic relationship . . . I hope all is well.
Making your toast. (What put the whole thing together? What made the whole story crisp up and become one, delicious thing?):
The fact that the poem feels so real and strong is what hit me hard. I've had a similar experience in my life, as many others probably had. With the way you worded this, you really plunged a sword into everyone. It's an emotion that just feels so . . . real.
Butter it!! (The spots that dropped my jaw, had me laughing, or nearly crying. What made it special and unique.):
This line, "He left me once, then came again/Like storms that beg to be my friend./He held my hand, then let it go/And now he says he needs me so." It hurts. This line made my heart throb because I can't tell you how many times I, and others, have fallen for such a familiar thing as this.
The crumbs on the plate. (Nitpicks, things that might need to be improved upon or added. Suggestions and advice.):
I don't have much to advise you on. You held your flow and stayed strong. It was a really good poem. However, at the end, I'd put your "Okay" into quotations as it seems to be insinuated that "Okay" is being said.
That is all! I wish you a wonderful day/night! <3
~Taost
Awesome poem written by the writer.
"He texts at night, says “please, just talk,”
Like I’m the key, the missing lock.
He says he dreams of what we had,
But dreams don’t fix what made me sad."
This is a very short poem, one that carries a deep message. I loved the way you described all those problems, all those lies and all those memories. When he comes back the same old way and says something new. When you know he is lying but you still hope, you still hang onto that thin string of hope wanting to see the change. Through this poem I can understand what you really mean to say, you have very well poured your emotions in this short and sweet poem.
And remember, 'Some lies are told and most of the truths are not. When that string of love breaks, even if you try to tie it back, there will always be a knot.'
Keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Thank you.