alarm rings.
room stays dark
even with the lights on.
ㅤ
clothes put on fast
not because of time
but because it's too cold
in a way the heater can't fix
ㅤ
breakfast on the table
not glanced at.
the clock moves.
nothing else does.
ㅤ
at school
hallways too loud
everything feels like it's on max volume
it's all just. too. loud.
ㅤ
hands shaky
pencil breaks
small thing, i know
but it feels huge
ㅤ
lunch comes and goes
food sitting, getting colder
it's too crowded but too empty
all at once.
ㅤ
bell rings
kids rush out
push each earbud in
tune everything out
ㅤ
get home
throw down the backpack
fall in bed
and go to sleep.
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138,680 Literary Works • 672,225 Reviews
Hello Hop, I'm going to be reviewing this piece. Before I get into the review, I just want to say that I love you so so much and I am always here for you, I know the world can be difficult to survive in but don't let it win, you can do this.
Into the review
"get home
throw down the backpack
fall in bed
and go to sleep."
I love this part of the poem, I feel this is what you are going for but this verse makes it so you can read this again and again and it still follows the order of the 'routine' or cycle, I thought this was super creative. That is really the only specific thing I have to say, overall, this was great poem.
another little message
I completely understand the poem on a personal level, and I 'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope that things get better. And about the eating, you are so so beautiful, and you need to fuel your body, I completely understand how hard eating can be when you're in this state but just know that I will always, and I mean ALWAYS be here for you. Whether it's eating or you don't know if you can keep going or some dumb guy/girl broke your heart, I will always be here. Also, the good things! I love you and I will always listen to you, tell me about your day, good or bad, but you are not alone. I love you.
(I hope this wasn't super stupid and cheesy)
Keep going, you got this! Mwah Mwah <3
-STARRYY
aww thank you starryy <333
This is relatable like my depression (ofc they just upped the dosage of my antidepressants T-T) but I can also tie stuff to like my autism and bipolar disorder, in the way that just a simple thing like a pencil breaking could set me off, and also how I just need to be alone sometimes. I really liked this a lot, and I think you did a really good job because people don't always understand things.
Thank you <333333
ofc <33 and i'm always here
I love how it shows a life like it's in a paradox where its just repetitive! The periods end phrases nicely and make them seem more dramatic and stronger than just a sentence. It gives it soul, life, in a SCRUMPTIOUS WAY (my way of saying beautiful, magical, AMAZING)! It's realistic life makes me feel like life could be like this over a small thing and poems help express like how I do this to cope with my problem! Anyways, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT.