Young Writers Society

What text did you use for this? And did you use a certain program to make it into a blackout poem? I really really like the light affect on the left side i think it makes it super interesting.

My favorite phrases from this are

Could you really [break] be loved

oof. something about the break between those too - feels very much like it's capturing the emotion of that sentiment.


Another favorite:

Something inside of you
torn [break] apart

Also love:

Sometimes [break] You
fall

there's something very heart-catching about the breaks and words in that - > it can be interpreted different ways, like sometimes you emotionally fall, sometimes you physically fall, sometimes your eyes fall while reading, sometimes you fall in love. etc etc.

here's another example of a great break in the text.

Nowadays even outside of black out poetry it's becoming more typical / trendy to leave spaces mid-line, and that's not something I've experimented with much, but I think you've got some great instances of it in here, where you can read phrases in circles and left to right and up and down and it makes it a little bit like a word-search of a poem that feels very interactive.

My suggestion: I think usually people do give credit to the original text that you used to create the blackout poem, and I think that not only gives good credit which is part of sort of artistic integrity, but also I think adds another layer of interest to the piece to know what the words were transformed from.

I'm not sure I liked that the only instance of a handwritten word was just the word "think" it seemed to come at an odd point in the text, and unless you're going to use that technique twice I'm wondering if it was more distracting than beneficial. I usually say that if you're doing something very odd with your formatting, unless that is the climax and most important point of the piece, make sure it's repeated twice so that the reader doesn't draw all their attention to it and put unnecessary weight into it. If you use an odd formatting choice twice, then the reader has context to figure out what the formatting meant, instead of just being drawn to it like a single "x" on a map.

I'm not sure I have a solid interpretation of this piece - but I did get the emotions of loss, searching, finding, wonder, regret, self-doubt, and enormity. A lot of constellation and brooding vibes and imagery in here. And even though I can't paint a concrete picture of what it all means, I do leave with some very concrete feelings from the piece - which at the end of the day is sometimes the most impactful thing a poem can do.

Thanks for writing; I love seeing experimental pieces like this, and hope you try to write some more!

Keep writing!

~alliyah