Some people would rather watch from afar
When they stroll
down
a darkened alleyway
Burning house on their right
People screaming their hearts out on the left
It seems at though, wide open, they open their eyes in the night
Blinded by their thought of delicious comfort in their head
Since, in those bubbling thoughts, they've rescued five, a hundred, a thousand
Of those trapped in those burning walls where all soul was to find its end,
They've already set in iron those broken hearts of gold,
No longer having them beat to the heavy bleakness of their world.
In their heads, they've rescued drowning kittens and saved a man
In their heads they've resolved all conflict and saved the world three times
But in their hearts they know, it really just is a lie
But deeper still they tell themselves there was nothing they could do
They were outnumbered, too small, too fat, too tall, the stars just weren't aligned
So they sink in into their shells and just as ever carry on with their lives
But did you know, little snail; cruel by its blindness,
You reap what you sow, and ashes return to ashes
One day, just like the burning house, the sick of heart and the drowning kittens
The stars shall align and the foot- the weight of the world- shall crush you beneath its darkness
And you shall struggle, struggle, struggle, little snail
But just like your comfortable heart, only hollowness shall prevail.
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Hey! MapleWay here with a short review!
This was a cool poem! The topic was very interesting and very thoughtful! It does a great job showing how we tend to care for the big things more than the little thing. I'm not sure why that is! Maybe it is because there are more of them or simply just because of the way we think. I especially liked how you used a snail as an example.
Anyways great poem!
Heyy yeah that's what I was trying to say !!
It's also a complaint on how people believe they're not good enough or strong enough to help others, so they just keep on with their lives. Thanks for the review
Wo, I really like this poem, makes you really think. I like how you kind of compared it to a snail. When I first read your title, I thought, little snail, and I almost passed it up. The name really fits though. I really like the last two lines "And you shall struggle, struggle, struggle, little snail
But just like your comfortable heart, only hollowness shall prevail. " Makes you want to go give your life savings to the nearest homeless person you meet. I have no criticism, only praise. I also really like this line, "In their heads, they've rescued drowning kittens and saved a man
In their heads they've resolved all conflict and saved the world three times", it is really quite true. All in all, this poem, is straight up the way people think, and the way you wrote it makes you wonder how you got your powers of mind-reading from, or are we as people that easy to read, but that's a topic for another day, anyway keep up the good work, this was amazing.
thanks a lot for the review !! Yeah I wanted o have this be a pretty straightforward poem, I'm not really the type to sugarcoat what I'm trying to say lol. Thanks <3