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E - Everyone

Ash

by stygianmoon17


Sometimes when the rain falls

You can see yourself in it

Oh of course you’ll first look for a shelter

Look for a hole in the clouds where the sun fits

Look for a crowd to dissolve in together

Tear yourself from the water.

But only once behind the safe screen of your window,

Will you look at the water, running down the face of the sky

Silently, quietly, stardust reaching for the ground

Hovering in puddles, waiting seconds as in a whisper, a sigh

Before splattering against the hardened ground.

-

But you’ll only look at the tears above,

Not much caring about the rivers running below your feet

Hissing in sewers, thousands of meters below

Where both rain and darkness meet.

Sometimes when the rain falls

You feel everything you’ve kept below rise

You feel what you never dare felt

Because once long ago, you thought it’d be your demise.

And still you only look at the sky above,

Have you even heard the splatter, the shattering, the broken sound of crashing tears ?

As they splattered against stone, far below their home in the sky

Have you ever heard them whispering, hissing, screaming, all their now awakened fears ?

As they feel the world slowly, oh so slowly, drift by.

Then they’d rush across the ground, caught in a stream of thousands of broken tears

Tears that were never wept,

Tears of a heart that once had nothing to fear

And they’d run and run and run across the ground,

And this time in the slow rising of all their broken sounds

Hoping to be heard, hoping to be understood

Then they’d fall into the sewers, a dive into darkness

And below our feet they’d keep hoping we’ll hear their screams in the silence.

Then they feel themselves be sucked away

And against the darkness as it slowly pieces them apart, they fight

But the darkness dissolves their fight in the pits of the night

Until nothing is left.

And they keep hoping and hoping for a spark,

That someone might put the broken pieces together

And they cling on that hope, and hold on fast

For it is all that is keeping them alive.

-

But your eyes are still turned to the tears running down the face of the sky

And in a shiver you turn to the fireplace and bury your new feelings below ash

Turning away from the rain and it’s bleeding, open gash

Eyes still turned to the sky


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12 Reviews


Points: 93
Reviews: 12

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Mon Dec 07, 2020 1:30 pm
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Denizen says...



I love how you've written this, it's beautiful. I love the repeated motif of water, and the abundance of imagery. It makes me feel a sense of wonder, and slight despondency, dismayed, but also hopeful. It feels almost lyrical, which I enjoy. The moments of repetition are great, too. Good job.




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37 Reviews


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Mon Dec 07, 2020 1:22 pm
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Haileyg21 says...



Ok hi sorry. I love you poem.. its so heartfelt and relatable. I love the way you put the words so effortlessly with each other (probably with effort). It amazes me that you can put these words together and make it so perfect. I love that as you write this i can imagine it in my head the rain falling the sounds of the sewer. its Amazing and i git it a 10 out of 10. Thank you for gracing us with this amazing poem.




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37 Reviews


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Mon Dec 07, 2020 1:22 pm
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Haileyg21 wrote a review...



Ok hi sorry. I love you poem.. its so heartfelt and relatable. I love the way you put the words so effortlessly with each other (probably with effort). It amazes me that you can put these words together and make it so perfect. I love that as you write this i can imagine it in my head the rain falling the sounds of the sewer. its Amazing and i git it a 10 out of 10. Thank you for gracing us with this amazing poem.






To be true %u201Ceffortless%u201D wouldn%u2019t be exact for my poems, %uD83D%uDE05
I spend like a week not thinking about anything and then out of a blue a sentence comes to my mind and then I write and write and write everything that%u2019s on my mind. And sometimes it makes poems. %u201CSpontaneous%u201D would be more exact.
Thanks for the review :D



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37 Reviews


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Mon Dec 07, 2020 1:18 pm
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Haileyg21 says...



oops next ones the review




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Mon Dec 07, 2020 7:30 am
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RavenWillow wrote a review...



Hi! RavenWillow here for a review...
First of all, I really loved your poem! It's super amazing and I really like how quotable you made it. I's seriously cool. This piece of literature is unique in i's own way. The first part made me realize that the rain reflects it's beauty and sadness in a way that also reflects one's emotional state. When you are in a positive mood you see the rain in all it's beauty but only when you are safely out of it's clutches. When you are angry you think of rain annoying and something that should sop immediately. When you are sad you see rain as yourself-- a mask filled with grace and beauty and underneath it is sadness and a broken peron beyond repair. Your poem really is amazing. I have nothing to criticize you for. I can only praise this beautiful piece of literature.
Keep it up.
Without wax,
RavenWillow.






Hey there, thanks a lot for the review, I can say you pretty much explained my poem better than I could ever do :) well apart for the more personal parts, but ur not really to blame since, well, it%u2019s personal ^^
Thanks a lot M it%u2019s reviews like these that motivate me to write :D



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Mon Dec 07, 2020 12:10 am
Sai9 says...



Dang that was really good pal, the rhyme scheme made it all the more impactful. Seriously I got into it, the visuals were great. Sorry I can't say anything constructive I just thought it was really nice.




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Thu Dec 03, 2020 2:05 pm
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What?






Sorry about that %uD83D%uDE05 I%u2019m pretty sure you%u2019re talking about my other work.. the Da Worst one I think, where the bio was something like %u201Cif I were high on all the drugs in the world, this is probably what I would write%u201D, and the story made no absolutely no sense where the dude is attacked because he didn%u2019t go out for pizza. It%u2019s about that right ? Sorry %uD83D%uDE05 my friend posted that here as a joke, it%u2019s something I wrote because I was bored out of my mind a few weeks ago.





My comment was about that. Not sure how it ended up here.




I lingered round them, under that benign sky: watched the moths fluttering among the heath and harebells, listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass, and wondered how any one could ever imagine unquiet slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet earth.
— Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights