Home is where the heart is,
But where does the heart go
When nothing remains. Where can it
Heave itself and sigh
After a long, drawn-out day?
Where does the heart go,
When nothing remains,
But the dusty floorboards
And the sickly light filtering though the window,
Where does it go, where does it go,
The heart hopes one day it’ll know
But for now it carries itself day after day
Across the dusty floorboards
Below the filtered sunlight,
Hoping one day, it’ll find a home.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hello @stygianmoon17! This is a very good writing of yours. Sometimes when you feel lost, away from your home and your family, you can feel down and sad. And if they're completely gone, where does your heart go if it belongs there? I feel like poem also tells like if you're very exhausted and tired from a long, hard day, you just need to go home and be with the ones you love. It's pretty devastating and sad because your home is gone when you weren't around and were busy working for it but it just disappeared. But there is hope because one day, you will find your new home. Over all, it is really good. Keep up writing and have a cozy Christmas! It's 11 days later and I'm so excited! Have a good day^^
howdy!
this is well written, i love the subject. its obvious and blatant, yet gives the reader room to wonder and think on their own or maybe relate.
it gives off feelings of mental exhaustion and almost desperation and i think that is something most readers can relate to. my favorite line is "where does it go, where does it go, the heart hopes one day it'll know." the repetition makes the truth sink in, where does it go? there really is no choice but to carry on, which is what follows in the next lines.
one thing i would like to point out though is that the way the words cut off creates a weird break within the flow. maybe its just my ocd autistic little brain though LOL.
howdy!
this is well written, i love the subject. its obvious and blatant, yet gives the reader room to wonder and think on their own or maybe relate.
it gives off feelings of mental exhaustion and almost desperation and i think that is something most readers can relate to. my favorite line is "where does it go, where does it go, the heart hopes one day it'll know." the repetition makes the truth sink in, where does it go? there really is no choice but to carry on, which is what follows in the next lines.
one thing i would like to point out though is that the way the words cut off creates a weird break within the flow. maybe its just my ocd autistic little brain though LOL.
ahhh thank you for the kind review <333
the weird break of flow is part of the style, glad you noticed ^^
This was super good! I found myself being able to heavily relate to it because recently my house was destroyed by a hurricane and I have had to hop around from place to place. Thank you so much for writing this. It was very interesting to hear your take on a well known saying such as "Home is where the heart is". It was nice to see someone take on a deeper meaning than just the surface level interpretation on such a saying. Keep up the great work! I look forward to reading more.
The heart is lost and can’t find a home. It has lost the touch for love and needs to be loved once again. It has been forgotten and covered in dust. It needs to find love once again. Once more, it will find love again. One day. But for now, it is waiting for love. I like how this was written. You can feel how pained the heart is at the moment.
I wish you a nice day/night.
thank you <333