I really didn't want to write this.
Maybe you don't remember her, there was a person called silvermoon17 on this site. Stayed a steady time on the top of the leaderboards last year. Well- I don't really know how to sugarcoat my words here..
..@silvermoon17 committed suicide nearing the end of last year.Â
I didn't even know because I left her school. And- god this is hard.
She wrote beautifully, poems about love and hate and despair, and one of her greatest fears was of being forgotten. She knew I always wanted to start an account on YWS. So she sent me this poem. And I'm sharing this with you, because I know that's what she would've wanted. To be remembered. Please don't comment anything harsh. she really meant a lot to me, and even if none of you will probably understand a word of this poem, I hope you can enjoy it for what it is đ
L'OrageÂ
DĂ©chirure dans le ciel, n'as tu point vu l'orage ?
Qui zébrait, qui marquait les cieux, de son sinistre langage,
Ne l'as tu point vu, quand elle transversait le soir ?Â
Défaisant tour à tour les fils tressés qu'est le noir.
Ne l'as tu point vu quand elle dĂ©chirĂąt les cieux;Â
Séparant puis réunissant ce qu'elle a coupé en deux
Quel dommage, de l'avoir tristement loupé,
Ainsi que l'horreur et la peur devant tant de fureur Ă©maciĂ©e.Â
Si seulement tu l'avais vue, cette douleur fugace dans ses yeux
L'aveuglant d'une rage sourde comme l'Ă©tincelle d'un feu
Peut ĂȘtre qu'elle n'Ă©tait rien au dĂ©but
Qu'une poussiĂšre dans un nuage grisÂ
Dans un ciel gris, dans un soir gris, terre grisée des choses qu'elle fut
Et dans la pĂ©nombre, peut ĂȘtre voulait elle briller
Tout comme la Lune fait au soleil, étinceler, brûler, briller
Dans un feu si intense qu'il se gravera dans notre mĂ©moireÂ
Passant ainsi à son fer rouge, l'accÚs privé de notre histoire.
Se mĂ»rant, peut ĂȘtre que tout doucement
Rongeùt- elle sur ses craintes qu'elle a ignoré si longtemps
Perdant peu Ă peu toutes les saveurs de ses rĂȘves
En se voyant sombrer dans le néant. Une ombre. Un visage parmi tant d'autres.
Tout le dépassait, on la bousculait, elle reculait
Non, la vie avait perdu ses saveurs, et plus rien ne l'enchantait
Cloué dans son nuage gris, tout doucement, elle se noyait
Et, impuissante, elle regarde tout ce qui la constituait se dissiper dans le ventÂ
Et, dans son nuage gris, elle roulait vers le nĂ©antÂ
Se mourant peu Ă peu, comme un mauvais prĂ©sageÂ
Pendant que s'effritait, s'Ă©caillait- toutes les fissures de son visage.
Et peut ĂȘtre que ce soir lĂ , le vide avait semblĂ© si procheÂ
Qu'elle voyait de fendre en deux son coeur bĂąti dans pierre et roche
Et que dans le noir, une douleur aigu la saisit
Vrillant son coeur, vrillant son Ăąme, du plomb dans sa poitrine,
Et elle s'est vu d'avant, la façon dont elle rĂȘvait de briller Â
Réalisant que tout sa vie, elle n'a qu'été maladive d'étinceler
Et comme dans un sanglot, un Ă©lan de dĂ©sespoirÂ
Elle s'Ă©lança dans le vide, brĂ»lante, avant d'ĂȘtre avalĂ©e par le soir.
Osant le tout pour le tout, de graver les pensées de son passage
Mais a quoi bon t'en parler, si tu n'as point vu l'orage
-By silvermoon. I'll always remember you â€ïž
Iâm so sorry to hear about your friend. I havenât really had any friends who have.... gone. But I had to move every one or two years and had to leave my friends behind never knowing if I would see them again, but yours is worse. But as long as her memory is in your heart, she is alive. Friendship is the most beautiful thing in the world. But no one will ever lose it. If you EVER want to talk about it..... we all are here. Stay strong.
I'm so sorry for so tragic a loss. It breaks my heart to know that there are so many who feel the last resort is the ONLY resort. I've lost to many friends this way.
She will never be forgotten as long as you keep her in your heart.
I know you don't know me well, but sometimes it is precisely for that reason a stranger is easiest to talk to. If you ever need to talk-about anything at all-I'm always willing to listen.
I'm so sorry that you had to go through this pain - I know this is a sensitive topic, obviously, but I found there to be beauty within the sadness. I can't imagine what you're feeling, but I hope that you're dealing with this in a healthy way, and remember silvermoon in their best moments.
I haven't lost anyone close to me, so take my advice as you will.
Stay safe,
<3
IzzyWidgeon
P.S.
My favorite line:
In a gray sky, in a gray evening, earth burnt grey of all the things that she was
And in the dark, maybe she wanted to shine
I think this speaks for itself.
Here is a translation of the poem..
(thanks a lot @woodpecker for translating it, but some expressions don't make sense when you directly translate them from French. So here it is)
The storm
Tearing apart the sky, haven't you seen the storm?
Who streaked, who marked the heavens, with its sinister language,
Haven't you seen her when she was crossing the night?
Undoing in turn the braided threads of the black. (black is another word for "night" in French at least)
Didn't you see her when she tore the heavens;
Separating then reuniting what she cut in half
What a pity, to have sadly missed it,
As well as the horror and fear at so much emaciated fury.
If only you had seen her, that fleeting pain in her eyes
Blinding her with a dull rage like the spark of a fire
Maybe she was nothing at first
Than a speck of dust in a gray cloud
In a gray sky, in a gray evening, earth burnt grey of all the things that she was
And in the dark, maybe she wanted to shine
Just like the moon does to the sun, sparkle, burn, shine
In a fire so intense that it will engrave itself in our memory
Thus passing to its hot iron, the private access of our history.
Maturing, maybe very slowly
Did she start gnawing at her fears that she ignored for so long
Little by little losing all the flavour of her dreams
Seeing herself sink into nothingness. A shadow. One face among many others.
Everything passed by her, we jostled her, she was backing away
No, life had lost its flavour, and nothing enchanted her anymore
Nailed in place in her gray cloud, very slowly, she was drowning
And helplessly, she watched everything that made her, dissipate in the wind
And in her gray cloud, she rolled towards nothingness
Little by little dying like a bad omen
While crumbled, flaked, all the cracks in her face.
And maybe that night the emptiness seemed so close
That she saw split in two her heart built in stone and rock
And that in the dark, a sharp pain seized her
Twisting her heart, twisting her soul, heavy iron in her chest,
And she saw herself from before, the way she dreamed of shining
Realizing that all her life she's only been sickly to sparkle
And as in a sob, a burst of despair
She darted into the void, burning, before being swallowed by the evening.
Daring everything for everything, to engrave the thoughts from her passage
But what's the use of telling you about it, if you haven't seen the storm
the translation of the beautiful poem -
The storm
Tear in the sky, haven't you seen the storm?
Who streaked, who marked the heavens, with his sinister language,
Haven't you seen her when she was crossing at night?
Undoing in turn the braided threads that are black.
Didn't you see her when she tore the heavens;
Separating then reuniting what she cut in half
What a pity, to have sadly missed it,
As well as the horror and fear at so much emaciated fury.
If only you had seen her, that fleeting pain in her eyes
Blinding her with a dull rage like the spark of fire
Maybe she was nothing at first
Than a dust in a gray cloud
In a gray sky, in a gray evening, gray earth of the things that it was
And in the dark, maybe she wanted to shine
Just like the moon does in the sun, sparkle, burn, shine
In a fire so intense that it will be engraved in our memory
Thus passing to its hot iron, the private access of our history.
Maturing, maybe very slowly
Was she gnawing at her fears that she ignored for so long
Little by little losing all the flavors of his dreams
Seeing himself sink into nothingness. A shadow. One face among many others.
Everything passed her, we jostled her, she backed up
No, life had lost its flavor, and nothing enchanted her anymore
Nailed in her gray cloud, very slowly, she was drowning
And helplessly, she watches everything that made her up dissipate in the wind
And, in her gray cloud, she rolled towards nothingness
Little by little dying like a bad omen
While crumbling, flaking all the cracks in his face.
And maybe that night the emptiness seemed so close
That she saw split in two her heart built in stone and rock
And that in the dark, a sharp pain seizes her
Twisting her heart, twisting her soul, lead in her chest,
And she saw herself from before, the way she dreamed of shining
Realizing that all her life she's only been sickly to sparkle
And as in a sob, a burst of despair
She darted into the void, burning, before being swallowed by evening.
Daring everything for everything, to engrave the thoughts of its passage
But what's the use of telling you about it, if you haven't seen the storm
hii..this is a very beautiful poem and an intense one... i am sorry for your loss
may her soul rest in peace...
I went on google trad to decipher most of this poem, and it's absolutely beautiful.
I'm sorry for your loss, you have all my support
đ
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