This is Me

I like the words of this, and the idea definately, but the rhythm didn't really seem to work. It just didn't hit me and make me really think and feel. I bet if you really wanted to, you could change that, but right now it's just an okay poem.
-Dai

I thought this poem was very good and I could relateto it 100 percent. Reall good job!

Yep. nice poem. So much like mee ! ..

hey... It was a very nice piece of work.. the words were truly felt and extremely true.. the concept was just brilliant. what you have expressed in a few words was something many people have not been able to express in millions of words.. this need to open up and speak up about self is very difficult and yet you have done it with such simplicity and brilliancy!! Very very well written!!:)

What's inside
is kept hidden,
safe, *Right here would be a good place to add something like: "safe, like the blood in my veins" just an example, but show us why it's hidden, describe it.*
for a good reason.
Because when I open up,
let others see
what I think,
who I truly am,
I run the risk
of having it crushed,
hurt beyond repair.
That is why
it is kept inside.
But if you wait,
be patient,
I might just
open up a little,
and let the world see
me.

i think it got the meaning, but the flow isn't has its best emotion.
try to reach inside you more!
keep up, it's good :D:D

I LOVE THIS.

I don't agree with the comments above me, either about the emotion or the "story in poem format" thing.

However, it's possible they may have a point--instead of just say you "run the risk," show how scared you are to take that risk.

I can relate to this poem a lot, loved it
I agree with a Amelia though, there wasn't a lot of emotion in the poem. Try adding more to it, and focus on adding in more feeling and imagery. There were no grammtical errors that I could find, and this was well written. Great story/idea, keep it up!

YES YES YES! I love it! I can relate to this SO MUCH!!! And, this just proves the point that ...it's very hard to let your TRUE emotions show. Just remember, if we feel trapped, or afraid to let our what we're truly thinking, it's not a healthy relationship. Our true friends will respect us no matter what we're thinking, and they'll forgive.
Overall, wonderful poem. The thing I like is that the beginning and middle is filled with hidden emotions, and towards the end, you say a hint of hope.

Ok, this is also what Ii believe; You're piece This is Me would be much better if you opened up about yourself...about what's really going on here. Like, give us examples. Examples are the best. Like, different instances where you felt this way, like you have to hide your emotions from the rest of the world.....or else...(what?). What is scary about sharing emotions? stuff like that. I loved this poem because i completely agree with what you're trying to say to the reader, that emotions are a tricky thing to deal with. But, I think that if you made the poem longer by adding examples, and a real setting, that would help the reader greatly.

Like, for instance, in my poem Best Friend...yeah right, i tried really hard to make it so the reader understands exactly what's bothering me, and what's really wrong.
I hope this helps. So, just make your poem almost like a story, but, in a poem format!! That's what people have told me anyway. Hope this helps. Keep up the great work!

Hello! This poem is quite lovely... I suppose, though, it's something and nothing: a topic many have covered. But it's nice. No gramatical errors. However, I felt no spark when reading it. Well done though, and keep writing. I'll *follow* you! lol
~ Amelia