Concealed Beauty

I really like this poem in general. I feel that most of the needed criticism has already been made. Howev, I would like to say that for such an unknown area of our knowledge, what with the universe and stars and things, I do like how you use free-verse for the poem, as giving a strict structure just wouldn't fit the idea. Thanks for sharing, and see you in marching band tomorrow.

Here I am to review, line-by-line as I shall and altogether. This is going to be really choppy and nitpicky and grammatical, just a warning.

First few lines - I like how you started this off with a question. The way you followed it up, though, makes it seem like the question might be be better as "Where are we when nighttime comes?" The answer doesn't quite fit the question as eloquently as it might - switching the phrases around a little might help that. The next two lines are okay.

The line starting with "But there is" - Could this be "There is concealed beauty"? Or should you connect this to the line before with a comma instead of a full stop?

I feel like there's something missing between "in" and "things". Would "in the things we don't see" or "in those things" make the poem read more easily?

"[A]nd look up...." There should only be three full stops to an ellipsis, if that's what you're going for here, unless you closed the sentence first and then put the ellipsis. It's hard to tell, really.

"You would see" - okay, get rid of the ellipsis. It creates an unnecessary pause between looking up and seeing, and the poem doesn't read better for it. Change the ellipsis into a comma and you have correct punctuation.

"You would realise... and all of the hidden beauty." That makes no sense, putting it in a grammatical standpoint. You could create the second clause into an independent one and put a different verb in there (such as "see"), then put a comma after "is" to create more fluidity.

You have a similar issue in the next sentence: "The stars that stretch out... another hidden secret." The subject needs to match the verb, and the predicate needs to match the verb. It's simple, really.

"Then enter the real treasures. A shooting star, a meteor shower." The first full stop ought to be a colon, if you're describing the treasures as a shooting star etc., and the A before "shooting star" should be lowercase, just saying.

The ending is nice, with no real obvious problems. I like the message of night and calmness and things we don't see, but it's hard to get through the odd structure of the poem and the sentences. All in all, it's not bad, but it's not wonderful.

I think you have a very strong idea for a poem here, but I feel that your execution needs a little bit of work. I only noticed one major grammatical mistake. There should be a hyphen inbetween night-time. One thing you did well, however, was your imagery. Many of the images, like "invasive darkness" and "sweeping patterns of stars" were images i haven't heard described as you did here, so well done. Yet, some parts of the poem felt as if they were lacking a certain powerful trait. Such as:

We don't pay much attention
to anything outside.

I love this poem. It reminds you to take a look around and notice God's wonderful creation and not to take it for granted.
Thanks so much for the reminder!