I am alone in the night;
utterly alone.
Darkness surrounds me;
infinite, impenetrable.
The feel of the ground
beneath my feet
is my only anchor.
In my hands,
I hold a bit of light.
The soft glow
warms me
and fills me with life
but extends no farther.
It does not break
the barrier of black.
I search around me
and even look to the sky,
but light exists only in my hands.
I am scared to move,
afraid of what I'll find
if I go one step
farther into the night.
Yet I still desire
to find another bit of sunlight
that shatters the dark.
I decide to await
the rising of the sun
and let the coming of day find me.
My feet remain planted,
and my candle of light
makes no move
to further penetrate the darkness.
I wait,
and yet the day does not come.
Time slips away,
but no other light joins mine.
When forever has gone by
an infinite number of times,
my resolve wavers
and then crumbles.
Feeling the warmth within,
seeing the light in my hands.
I uproot myself
and take a step
into the night
and another...
and another...
and another...
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139,429 Literary Works • 672,561 Reviews
I really enjoyed the feel of this poem; dark, deep, and awesome. Abid is right, your structure is very good in this poem. I think that this may be one of the best poems you've written (that I've read, anyways). Back to structure, though, you're structure is excellent even though your stanzas are different in length. It adds a streamlined structure that not a lot of readers will necessarily pick up on because the different stanza lengths add (I feel) a fluidity to the piece.
The words and language you chose worked together to create a very masterfully written piece. Well writ.
Wow well done, I genuinely like this poem.
Its not often i stare back and hope that i wrote something like this
This is a true narrative Poem
Your Stanzas are perfectly aligned which really benefit the flow, Believe me I've seen a lot of poem which are lyrically
flawless but their structure is all over the place which downgrade the overall value of the poem.
I am alone in the night;
utterly alone.
Darkness surrounds me;
infinite, impenetrable.
The feel of the ground
beneath my feet
is my only anchor.
I've highlighted this stanza as i believe it really sets the tone of the poem, which is quite hard to do
I am scared to move,
afraid of what I'll find
if I go one step
farther into the night.
Yet I still desire
to find another bit of sunlight
that shatters the dark.
This lyrically is your best stanza, the way you have compared the sun and the night is just beautiful
So Well done and keep writing.