Flying

by mellophone7

Published April 22, 2011

In Poetry

When I dream,
I dream of flying.
Not of falling,
but of soaring.
I leave the ground behind,
and reach up
to touch the clouds,
floating high in the sky.
They say they're made of water,
yet when I touch them, I stay dry.
I ascend,
so that I am surrounded
on all sides
by clouds.
Then I break through,
and see the sun.
It is blinding,
and I have to look away.
I feel its warmth
envelop me in a hug,
spill over my skin,
and fill me with life.
I wish I could stay here forever,
and never leave,
but the dream ends,
and I wake up.
I'm not sad, though,
because I can go back
every night,
and soar above the clouds.
When I dream,
I dream of flying.

Comments & reviews · 10
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Ignatius5453
Review
Ignatius5453 wrote a review Review · Jun 8, 2011

Great poem, it flowed well, but if I can offer some advice to make it flow better:

floating high up in the sky.

so that I'm surrounded

by the clouds.

It might flow better if you make those changes, but otherwise, good poem. Keep Writing!

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dragonlover92
Comment
dragonlover92 commented Comment · Jun 8, 2011

Its good, I like how u repeat the beginning at the end. It gave me a feel of i was in a dream and that i was in the clouds. Very good!

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star12 Comment
star12 commented Comment · May 10, 2011

I like this poem it helped brighten my day this morning I wish I could read all of your poem right now but I can't

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Kwantack
Review
Kwantack wrote a review Review · May 1, 2011

Wow. This is a very inspirational piece of poetry. That, and I just finished watching "Fly Away Home" about flying geese, so this is just really cool! Let me see if I can offer any constructive help.

When I dream,
I dream of flying.
Not of falling,
but of soaring. I like this line.
I leave the ground behind,
and reach up
to touch the clouds,
floating high in the sky.
They say they're made of water,
yet when I touch them, I stay dry.
I ascend,
so that I am surrounded
on all sides Since you already said surrounded, this line isn't really needed, but it's kinda cool.
by clouds.
Then I break through, Comma isn't needed here.
and see the sun.
It is blinding, Comma not necessary
and I have to look away.
I feel its warmth
envelop me in a hug, Envelop!
spill over my skin,
and fill me with life.
I wish I could stay here forever, Unneeded comma.
and never leave,
but the dream ends,
and I wake up.
I'm not sad, though,
because I can go back
every night, I'd probably add 'single' to this line, every single night.
and soar above the clouds.
When I dream,
I dream of flying. Perfect ending.


You're such a great poet. I love your work. Please post more stuff!!! Keep up the fantastic work! :D

User avatar
GiggleGremlin
Review
GiggleGremlin wrote a review Review · Apr 26, 2011

I think this poem is really pretty. It has a lot of imagry in it and emotion. It makes you happy when you read it =D I also think it was cool how your second line was
I dream of flying
and then you ended it with the same thing =) It makes it sound really professional haha
Anyways I really like this poem. It made me happy just reading it. Keep writing!! =D

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TamaraGoesRawr
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TamaraGoesRawr commented Comment · Apr 23, 2011

I like this, it reminds me of a song I know and gives me some really good mental images. I think it's fun and has a good mood behind it.

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PoeticGlow
Review
PoeticGlow wrote a review Review · Apr 22, 2011

This poem is very reminiscent of a dream! Your word choices were absolutely perfect, and your flow was flawless!

My favorite lines were these:

"Then I break through,
and see the sun.
It is blinding,
and I have to look away.
I feel its warmth
envelop me in a hug,
spill over my skin,
and fill me with life."

Great job, mellophone7!

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Silverdragon150
Comment
Silverdragon150 commented Comment · Apr 22, 2011

I can relate to this. I enjoy how you capture the feeling of the dream and the wonder that's connected to it. I especially applaud your word choice. It gives me a clear image of what it feels like. Keep writing!

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silentwords
Review
silentwords wrote a review Review · Apr 22, 2011

I really enjoyed this poem :)
It had a fun and uplifting tone to it. I also liked the idea behind it. It's one of those poems that give you a positive feeling and hope :)
I really liked how your ending connected back to your beginning and your poem made a full cirlce. I really think that adds to the peom. There were no errors or suggestions that I could find, so that's a good thing, but sorry I won't be very useful. Other than that, keep up the great work! (:



To be a master of metaphor is the greatest thing by far. It is the one thing that cannot be learnt from others, and it is also a sign of genius.
— Aristotle, Poetics