Pen to Paper

Hi there! LadyShadows here for a review!

I know I know, it probably seems like I'm blowing up for pages, but like said in a previous review, I'm becoming a fan! I feel like I can't stop reading your poetry!
I feel like this is probably one of the best pieces I seen so far. It had a decent flow, AND it has an excellent rhyme scheme. And I noticed if it didn't rhyme in some parts, the words at least sounded like each other, so it didn't kill the poem
Overall, this is beautiful. Seems very romantic if you ask me. To me it also had decent descriptions too. This is lovely. I can tell poetry is definitely a strength of yours. If you were to publicly publish this form of art I can see people enjoying it. Keep writing! I want to see more! Have a lovely day! <3

This is so freaking good... I must say, u hv got the real talent.. As for the poem, it really touched my heart coz I can relate to it. Carry on writing. You can achieve greater heights.

Hey! ChocolateCello here!
(I'm typing on a school computer and I don't really have a good feel for the keyboard so I might have a few typos)
I really wish I had the skill to write like this. Sure, I do some satire poems, but making them actually poetic? Not, my area. It seems to be yours though. Not only that, but it rhymes! (Sorry, I always love a good rhyme) It takes time to rhyme (Sorry, I had to) and showing that you put enough effort into the poem to find similar sounding words makes everything better in my opinion.
I would love it if you kept the pattern (ABCB) the whole time though.

of pen to paper

hearts to hearts

blood pumps hard

inside your veins

Hello klennon,

I rather like this poem, it has a nice flow to it, a good rhythm.
The only point to this review is: maybe some more capitalization, and a few commas here and there.
But other than this (as I cannot pick out anything else), this is a really well written and thought out poem. Well done.

Also, despite what fortis says, I do not think this poem is at all cliché. Yes, this style of poem is written often, but that doesn't make yours of any less value. Personally, I really like this poem, so don't let others get you down about your writing.
However, the advice about reading other poems for inspiration is always worth considering. I, myself, often take time to read other author's works, to see how they structure their pieces, how they flow, how they build them up, then unravel them.

Anyway, enough rambling from me. This is a nice piece, and I look forward to reading more of your works.

Kindest regards,
Tarakona

Hello!
I'm here for a quick review. take it with a grain of salt. I'm just trying to help okay?

So this poem is like, really cliche. It starts off with perhaps the most cliche line I can imagine "shattered hearts." And it doesn't really get better. The words you have in here have all been said before a thousand times. It's kind of like you're repeating the sorts of things you hear, the sorts of things you think are "poetic."
I'm here to tell you that the best poetry isn't this kind about love and emotions and souls and hearts and blood. Frankly, all of those items are on my "cliche" list, and only really work when you surround them with very unique things. Poetry exists to get people to feel (and I didn't feel anything when I read this because I've read it all before in various other places), to get people to think about something (not much to think about here), to show something new (we've been over this), or sometimes they exist just to be entertaining, as is the case in those funny poems. This wasn't really entertaining.
So, that's pretty much the number one thing. I think you're doing well, because I'm assuming this is toward the start of your poetry career (no offense if it isn't), and this is definitely the right track to be on. I'm glad I could review you and tell you these things, because I didn't realize that people don't really like to read these sorts of things until.... too late. I had already written dozens of these. You've got some technical things down here, that's apparent, so you're on a really good track to keep improving and to start writing some really excellent poetry.

One other thing that doesn't really matter if you're going to go with my advice and just take this poem as a learning example and boost yourself up from here: You start with a rhyme scheme, and then you just drop it. That's a no-no. If you're going to rhyme, it sounds best to the reader if the rhyme is consistent. I like that you have some rhythm here though. Rhythm and rhyme go hand in hand in creating things that are pleasing to the ear. However, things that are pleasing to the ear are not always pleasing to the mind. Rhyme usually weakens a poem, because the writer forces the lines to rhyme by using words and phrases that they normally wouldn't, disrupting the natural flow of the poem. I almost always discourage rhyming.

I think you are going to be an excellent poet someday soon. I recommend reading a lot of poetry. Just gorge yourself on it. Poetry of ALL styles. Poetry from ALL kinds of people. Poetry from ALL time periods. Poetry that's famous, infamous, not famous whatsoever. Take all that reading, and notice, while you read, the things that you like about the poetry. The things that made you FEEL something or learn something new or make you see something in a new light. The best way to get better at writing anything is to read many of those things. c:

I hope this will help you in your poetry career. I am always open for questions, and would be happy to give you any help you need.
Keep writing!
~fortis

I had separated this into stanzas, and I'm not sure why it didn't upload that way. I will fix this eventually.