I’d like to thank my family
for giving me nothing but hell
I’d like to thank my head
for thinking of nothing to tell
This migraine in my head
is pulsing through my veins
This heart of mine is broken
in all but just one place
My thoughts are oh so small
compared to those who wait
their whole entire lives
to find that peaceful place
But I can’t help it if I whine
I can’t help it if I need
a hand to guide me through
the door of normalcy
A land where thoughts are
clear, instead of jumbled,
torn, and ripped apart. A land
where thoughts are numb
instead of wanting, yearning
shattered, inside this empty heart.
I swear that I am learning
exactly how to act.
I swear that I will teach myself
that life is more than black
fears and loss and struggles,
but how will I do that?
I will tell my little friend
lingering in my mind
that he needs to go away
and this is not his life.
I refuse to live by rules
conjured up by thoughts
that are useless, grey, fading
and by only what is lost.
Battles fought are hard to win
but I will stand up tall
So I want to thank you thoughts,
for letting me back in.
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140,764 Literary Works • 673,687 Reviews
Hey! This poem was sort of sad. It had so much depth to it. Writing is a great way to express your feelings and is one of the things that makes me enjoy writing. Also it's nice because it's a secret between you and the words you wrote...some people may understand it but it is usually different for everyone which makes it great!! Keep up the hard work!
Thank you so much for the kind words!
So... klennon ! Why are you so depressed? I mean your words which you carved seems very sad. And one more thing I dont like in your poem is what you said for your family. As what we are is only because of our loved ones.because of them only we are at a ppsition to do anything . I am not criticising your work. The only thing is I felt bad reading your limes
" I'd like to thank my family
For giving me nothing but hell. "
Nothing more to say. Just didnt like though you Penned nicely.blessings!
With all do respect, you are not a part of family nor do you live with them so I don't think it is fair for you to make assumptions about me or them or my life. And I'm not trying to say this in a rude way, even though it may sound like it, but you don't really know the kind of life someone lives unless you walk in their shoes. And perhaps I just got caught up in a moment of anger or sadness or something of the like...
Anyway, I digress. This poem was just a way of letting things out; catharsis. But thank you for your blessings.
Hey kelon!
Well this was depressing. I appreciate the effort you put behind this poem. But I guess you could definitely use some improvements.
First of all the theme was good and in some places I could even connect to it.
Second, you should use some more punctuations. Like in places you want your reader to pause you should put a coma or something, other wise it seems rushed.
Third, "My thoughts are oh so small
compared to those who wait
their whole entire lives
to find that peaceful place" in the third line here the use of "whole" and "entire" dosent makes sense since both of them mean the same thing. So it would be better if you eliminate one of those words.
Forth, I like the way you compare emotions with colors and I also like the way you end the poem.
Guess that's all I need to say. Hope this helps.
Fangirl~
Hi there! Thank you kindly for the review. I'm not really sure why I'm getting flack for this being a depressing poem. There are tons of poems on this sight that are sad or depressing or an example of someone letting their emotions out. Anyway, I do thank you very much for the feedback. I will certainly take all of your advice into mind! Thanks!!
So... klennon ! Why are you so depressed? I meam yoit wotfs which you carbed seems very sad. And one more thing I dont like in your poem is what you said for your family. As what we are is only because of oir loved ones. Nothing more to say. Just didnt like though you Penned nicely.blessings!