trapped

Lol, you got me again......although I think I like this one more then the others, I know you was looking for a confuse type state but I honestly grasp what was going on from the start. I feel bad for the man, because whatever he did was so bad that the only way to escape his own guilt was to die. Which in reality is true for some people. I have heard countless stories about people taking their own life because of their guilt. But like I said I loved it and I hope u keep writing.

Well, you definitely achieved what you were looking for: confusing. I think it could be taken as the "man" being "sin," and the knife he holds as forgiveness, which is why the person is free. However, it is too late, and the person cannot save themselves from their evil, which is why the last line states "killed by the evil inside me." This is just a personal interpretation and I really loved the way the sentences just floated together like a story. The word choice also keeps the reader interested, and I think you did a really great job on portraying that this person is suffering from what they have done. An excellent read indeed!
~Prez. T

I really like this and I like that it's meant to be confusing because that's what I try to make my stories like. I feel like it sort of makes sense but some bits you have to really think about before you get what's going on, which I like. I really like the part in the fourth paragraph where you write "He killed all those I loved. The one I hate. The one I like. Thats when I see; I see that the man is me." and also "Knives fall from below me, landing in my head... Killing me... Saving me.". Basically I just like all of it. I leaves you to think for yourself a bit about the story behind this man, and why he's feeling like this and what his situation is. I might be thinking too literally about this but I just think it's a great piece of writing.

wow. This feels like a nice big knot of metaphors.
I'm not sure if that's a bad thing or a good thing, it depends.
I dunno about it supposed to be confusing. Isn't writing supposed to be relatively clear? I mean, I'm a sucker for hazy, undefined endings and boundaries, so I guess I can't talk...

Now, nitpicks!
People don't describe their own fingers as 'bony'. They just don't, as a rule, I think. They don't describe themselves, usually. They won't describe their eyes as 'sky-blue' or their hair as 'honey brown.' They know what they look like, and since you're trying to become that character, you can't describe their features too descriptively, in a way that they wouldn't.

Did the knives land on his head or in his head?
The 'But I then I am faced with him' is abrupt, and does not make much sense in the context of the paragraph.
And lastly- if the man is 'evil', in whatever way, why is he going to heaven? I'm not a christian, or any religion in particular...and some would argue that God loves everyone, and all that. But it's just something to think about.
yep that's it! happy writing!

Hey Godlypopo! Clickdun here :3

So, you note that this is supposed to be confusing, which is kind of irritating. I can't think of much to say here. Critiques escape me as I try to figure out what your doing.
From what I can tell though, there's this dude, who's in prison, but someone let's him get away, by, um, killing himself.
I'm confused.
And I know that's the intention, but I seriously don't know what to say here.
So let's talk about your descriptiveness.
I am what you may call, a "blind reader" I don't exactly picture the event happening in my head. I can feel the characters feeling, feel the vertigo when they fall. Feel my heart ripped out when their friends die, but when it comes to actually picturing the event in my head? Completely lost.
But even with that description is still important, there are tons of people who have images flash in their head, I'm just not one of them.
So where's yours? I don't know.

My boney fingers curl around the cool bars;