Young Writers Society

Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! Grim is here as well, drinking hot cocoa and being a slacker. *Grim looks over, glaring* So, lets get started.

So, first thing I notice is that a few places don't flow well and some are missing commas. I will list them for you then tell you my thoughts on the poem.

1. "Far too long has time swept by" I love how this was worded and it reads like how I talk. A comma is needed after the word "by"

2. "Closely I pulled you so" A comma is needed after the word "so"

Otherwise I did not notice any other grammar or spelling mistakes. Keep up the good work!

Now is when I dissect your poem and see if I can't get its meaning right! So, in your poem you are telling us, the reader, that you were once on a relationship and it got the point where they were just ignoring you and the whole thing just wasn't real anymore. You miss them but there is little you can do. Also, I think my favorite line would be "Those subtle grins, those gasps of joy,". Its the happy part of the relationship.

Overall I loved the poem and keep up the good work! Happy Halloween! I really need to go now Grim has souls to reap and he needs more cocoa. He has a problem, seriously. Cheerio and fruit loops to you!

Hello godlypopo. I'm here to only give a comment. I love this poem. It is one of those poems I can relate to. Keep on writing poems.

Absolutely exquisite! I'm glad to find some poetry that has a refreshing, antique touch. It honesty brings me back to a time where romance was real and in these days, unfortunately, there is no real romance anymore. I like, also the way that it's happiness so quickly falls into sadness.

I wonder, you don't have to tell me, if it's a personal experience? You definitely seem to feel what it feels like.

I'm a very critical editor, always pushing for the best in grammar, punctuation etc. etc. And here I can't find anything! The stanzas are incredibly places and nothing is cut short.

I thoroughly enjoy your poetry and I'm sure I'll read more.
Keep up the awesome work!

-Azaray

Absolutely exquisite! I'm glad to find some poetry that has a refreshing, antique touch. It honesty brings me back to a time where romance was real and in these days, unfortunately, there is no real romance anymore. I like, also the way that it's happiness so quickly falls into sadness.

I wonder, you don't have to tell me, if it's a personal experience? You definitely seem to feel what it feels like.

I'm a very critical editor, always pushing for the best in grammar, punctuation etc. etc. And here I can't find anything! The stanzas are incredibly places and nothing is cut short.

I thoroughly enjoy your poetry and I'm sure I'll read more.
Keep up the awesome work!

-Azaray

Absolutely exquisite! I'm glad to find some poetry that has a refreshing, antique touch. It honesty brings me back to a time where romance was real and in these days, unfortunately, there is no real romance anymore. I like, also the way that it's happiness so quickly falls into sadness.

I wonder, you don't have to tell me, if it's a personal experience? You definitely seem to feel what it feels like.

I'm a very critical editor, always pushing for the best in grammar, punctuation etc. etc. And here I can't find anything! The stanzas are incredibly places and nothing is cut short.

I thoroughly enjoy your poetry and I'm sure I'll read more.
Keep up the awesome work!

-Azaray

Hello godlypopo! Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!

Give me your soul.

With that aside, I'm not the best at poetry but here we go!

Bold = grammar and flow issues.
Italics = suggestions and overall
Strikethrough = remove
Underline = krazy Kara komments.

This review courtesy of

Hello godlypopo, I really like your poem here, it is heart touching and simple to read and understand that being said I just have a few suggestions.

1. The rhyming scheme is missing, it gives the poem that uninterrupted flow and makes it catchy and attractive.
2.I love the line "Your enchanting gems for eyes." it represents a lot without actually going in depth about what you feel when you look into those eyes, but then again you could have been a bit more elaborate about the eyes as they are called windows to the soul it could have been a bit more descriptive.
3."Each time numbing the outside world." again this is a wonderful representation of what you feel this line is perfect for me at least.

Hi, godlypopo! Jash here for a quick review.

Without a word to and from.

Your auburn hair fluttering in the wind,

Your enchanting gems for eyes.

I miss your - smile.

Each time numbing the outside world.

As rosy cheeks fall to none.

At but a kiss, all glee is gone.

Silently did I sweep by,

With fools loving smile upon my face.

And with my hands, your eyes fall dead,