There are high flying lady bugs
And woodlice tightly curled,
Wondering about their busy day,
Hiding in a secret world.
-
You have tiny blue birds
And great big circling hawks,
Each sharing eachother's British air,
Shouting with tuneful squawks.
-
You may see the night time badger
Or the sadly rare red squirrel,
Will you ever meet them,
one's fate will only tell.
-
So nature's all around us,
No matter how big or small,
take care of your surroundings
As life is one for all.
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Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,742 Reviews
So I am back(Yay! Lets give him around of applause.) I am sorry, I just been so busy lately with me moving and going to basketball practice, trying to find a job, and make sure I have enough time to write my book, that I have been neglecting my duty as your awesome fan and reviewer, so I'm sorry
:(:(. But now I am back, and I am done apologizing lets hop into this review shall we......You already know, I love your work and this is no exception. I understand and love this poem, and once again you showed that different side that I don't see to often. (S/N Do you think Stephen King had another side to him then horror?) If he dose it would explain why he so good at horror stories, just like you. I believe in order to write these intense stories that ya'll are so good at, ya'll have be able to understand and appreciate life, which is what I am getting from this poem. The way it flows and speaks to me is amazing, and very creaTIVE! I especially love three musketeers reference at the end. It was a cute add in. Well that's all from for now.
-love your favorite holiday!
Hi,
Ah finally some calm poem to review. I love the theme although the theme is overused. I love the ideas although the ideas are overused.
...cliche.
But hey, I don't care about cliche. The ancient basically stole our ideas, right? The poem is short and I feel longing for more. I think this poem needs to be longer. The first stanza till the third generally have the same foundation. And the last stanza is wrapped up in a simple overused closure.
...finished.
Now, I'll go deep.
Yeah, I know there are high flying lady bugs and woodlice tightly curled, wondering about their busy day, hiding in a secret world. What's so special about it. I prefer you to show them. On how they "hid" and on how they "wonder" and on how they are called "high flying lady bugs" and on why "woodlice tightly curled" on where. We are now describing. You should break them into smaller parts and hence (as I said before) this poem really needs some more length.
...And that's applied to the other stanzas.
I want fresh ideas. Some more details to me to indulge in your poetry world. Not some wordings that generalized to bring up to the closure. I want longer. Let me hear the ladybugs flutter their wings.
Keep writing, nonetheless!
~Memo
The reason I kept it short and simple was because I was entering it into a contest for a kid's book and I didn't want to over complicate it. Thanks for the advice anyway! (I had to stick to this theme for the competition as well)
This was awesome! this is a master piece keep on writing good things!
But............ make it more traditional and let it have a rhythm and rhymes.
Thank you
(It does have rhyming just abcb)
Wow really awesome!
keep on writing good things! This a master piece. 
Thank you
Hello!
It's good, i would say.
And I appreciate how you've stuck to the theme. The rhyme scheme did some good to the poem too.
But, i have some short suggestions here and there-
1)Why the usage of 'So' twice in a stanza, not good!
2)Similarly, the 'each' used twice in second stanza..
3)The last line is very good, actually great, but it doesn't go with the stanza. Here I suggest you refine our last stanza in order to make it great as a whole.
4) I know grammar can be ignored in a poem, but keeping it to the mark is always good. The opening line sounds strange to me: "There's"? Make it "There are.."
Lastly, too good.
Hope my review helps, if it doesn't then help me make my reviews helpful!
Loves...
Thank you for the advice
Hello, goldypopo. I really liked this. It was so cute. The rhyming scheme wasn't boring and it rolled off my tongue, which is always a plus. However, I did find fault with it, but only two pet-peeves.
It doesn't really fit with the description of a hawk, and it sounds wrong. It almost makes you sound bad since you say it like you know "I have tiny blue tits". xD
"Squirrel" doesn't rhyme with "tell". I cant really think of a word you could use to replace "tell" and make it rhyme or vise versa, but it's not that big of a deal. Oh, one more thing is you didn't capitalize the first word of every stanza. It's in my 9th grade text book and has been taught for many years. I know the people on YWS love to disagree with me but it's standard grammar, and that's a fact.
Overall this was a great poem, and I hope to read more from you in the near future. Keep writing so I can keep reviewing!
~Keep <3
Thank you ^-^ The blue tit is a common British bird but I'll think of another one :p
You could keep it if you put an author's note just so no one freaks like me. xD
Hahaha it's ok I put bird instead of tit just to be safe .