I had a dream today
where I was floating.
There was light
shining through my eyelids
leaving a warm glow
and there is birdsong tingling into my ears.
-----
the fan was on
whirring so noisily
lulling me to sleep.
The drowsy edges of my mind
struggling to keep conscious
so the light whispered to me
-----
let go
And I did,
For a while.
At least until sleep
evaded me once again
But that glow behind my eyelids stayed
-----
Like a warm boon
and suddenly my parched throat is craving orange juice
Cloying sweet;
and cold sandwiches
the unnatural cold of the AC
that once felt only normal.
-----
and at the fraying edges
a soft voice muttering;
practicing answers for tests
with boredom and desperation.
and kneecaps that once did not hurt,
when I crawled on them
-----
but now the canopy I see
has no loud train,
and this fan does not whir quite the same.
nor do the crows keep on crashing
into rattling windows,
and the warm glow has subsided
-----
The cloudy sky is barring my soul
from reaching upward, high.
and once again
the waking world finds me;
So I fall back again
because the sun does not gaze down.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,774 Reviews
Hiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!! SMulki here!!!!!!!
First of all I wanted to say that this is a great poem..........
I loved the 2nd paragraph. I find your style of writing very creative and unique!
I personally feel that you could make this poem a bit short...
When I started to read the first thought that came to my mind was the theme of summer! So amazing job plotting this poem!!!!
I feel that if you planned a sort of rhyme scheme for this!
Anyways amazing poem!
Loved this
Looking forward to read your future works!
Bye for now!
Hi! It's CATS387 leaving a review on this! The title caught my attention, and the description of it too! Let's start reading, shall we?
The first paragraph introduces us into the person's dreams. The description made me feel peaceful and happy inside. I love the introduction!
The second paragraph describes how the person is struggling to stay awake, but it is no use, he or she is falling into a dream.
The third paragraph describes how the person is letting go of consciousness and giving up on staying awake, being lured into the dream.
The fourth and fifth paragraph focuses on peace and mindfulness in the dream. Very creative!
The last paragraph is when he or she wakes up.
Overall, it is very good, original, and creative. I look forward to seeing more of your works. Happy Writing!