There is an awful cave
a dark, dark place
that I often go back to
--
I don't know where it is
but my footsteps often lead me
right back there.
--
Again and again
that familiar dread rises
in the back of my mind
--
as i beg Someone;
Don't let me go back there
don't leave me, please.
--
But there is no one
to hear me
In that dark place
--
There are only the echoes
And distant memories
Of a future-past
--
I remember the light
it warms me,
and so I hold on
--
but in that cave
In that dark, dark place
it leaves me too.
--
and when i am back out
i only feel
a hollow ache
--
after some time
all is okay again
and I come back
--
and lo, there it is!
the light to make
memories from, once again.
--
(A voice calls out
from that dark, dark place
Don't leave me, please)
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139,031 Literary Works • 672,398 Reviews
Hey there, this is a super good poem.
I have depression as well and I honestly couldn’t have put it into words.
“ a dark, dark place
that I often go back to”
This is an amazing metaphor for depression. You are an amazing poet and there are so many perfect metaphors in this singular poem.
I also wanna say that I’m sorry you wrote this poem. Depression is a horrible thing that too many people suffer from and I’m sorry that you are one of those people.
But this poem is still great, keep up the great work. I hope things get better, you got this ml <3
Mwah Mwah!
-STARRYY
Hey there, this is a super good poem.
I have depression as well and I honestly couldn’t have put it into words.
“ a dark, dark place
that I often go back to”
This is an amazing metaphor for depression. You are an amazing poet and there are so many perfect metaphors in this singular poem.
I also wanna say that I’m sorry you wrote this poem. Depression is a horrible thing that too many people suffer from and I’m sorry that you are one of those people.
But this poem is still great, keep up the great work. I hope things get better, you got this ml <3
Mwah Mwah!
-STARRYY
I hope you make it out <3
Hello, My Friend!
Nice to meet you! I'm Raven, and I wanted to review this lovely poem of yours!
I think this was not only a creative way to talk about depression, but a very powerful form of imagery to ascribe to it, and the complex tangle of deep, twisted emotions it brings about. I don't really have anything to recommend for improvement, as this was just very well-written, and truth be told, I am no pro with poetry myself! That said, I think my favorite parts were...
This was a really cool part to include, because this does feel very true—nobody goes seeking out depression, yet sometimes, it feels like you're walking right into it, like some kind of trap...
This part was really just devastating, and the feeling so raw and real. You feel so alone, you want to reach out, yet there is a wall there, separating you...Ugh, brutal.
Despite how raw and dark you were in describing these emotions of depression, I also like how you ended this on a semi-positive note. That final stanza, not only did I like how you crossed out the lines, but it implies that it still exists—this is something that can come back and create a long-term, if not a lifetime struggle. However, at the same time, that light and desire to create new memories is a great way to remind anyone who reads this—who is or has felt this way—that there's always some hope for them <3
Overall, this was a beautiful and very realistic way to describe depression, in poetry form. Nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
Thanks for your review! The second-last paragraph was about the person rediscovering hope, and the crossed out lines are a paradoxical parallel to the initial past version of the person crying out for help and the future version who has finally escaped and is so glad to be out that they don't hear the past version crying out. Hope this provides a new perspective <333
I feel like this poem really described depression really well. We never want to go to that dark place in our mind. The isolation, the darkness, the everything.
''Again and again
that familiar dread rises
in the back of my mind''
Depression sneaks up on us like a lion stalking gazelle. We don't know when it strikes, until that moment, and that situation. That's when it all comes crashing through in our mind.
''I remember the light
it warms me,
and so I hold on''
I liked how you described how the light warms you. The only cure for depression, is everything we've been working hard for in life. That keeps me going, and I hope it keeps others going.
Overall, a very beautiful poem,I really enjoyed it.
Thanks for this sweet review, I loved the lion and gazelle analogy. Welcome to YWS <33