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139,031 Literary Works • 672,398 Reviews
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I love this one!!!! Your long range of words really enhance each stanza really well!
The description on the setting a view is so good that I can feel like I perfectly image the scene. My personal favorite, STANZA 6! I like poems that have the word every in it idk why lol-. The parentheses are like a whisper after the last wording. AND THE PLACEMENT OR THE PERIODS ARE PERFECT! It gives feeling to the right line nicely and commas are fantastically placed as well!
-,Klee 2.0,
Nataleee :3 KABOOM
This may be my favorite pieces I have found on yws so far. I have no suggestions for this piece. If there are any flaws they are so small they go unnoticed.
This piece feels almost religious in its devotion, unsettling in its delivery. You've created an atmosphere that feels almost like a halo and tastes like chrysanthemums; it feels like a cold, golden burn that eats away at your soul (I have synesthesia sry). The love described in this piece feels raw and messy and beautiful. The emotional progression is almost an out of body experience for the reader in the best possible way.
Your use of language is so precise and perfect. You insert complicated (for lack of a better term) words that elevate your piece without sounding pretentious or out of your depth.
Good words you used: sacrosanct- never heard of this word before, but that's going in the books it's so interesting. requiem- one of my favorite words ever it will never not be beautiful. hallowed- for some reason I love this word. asunder- this is such a pretty literary term.
Favorite part in this piece:
"the jut of your lips/ rest upon mine (oh, Gemini)" The slant rhyme makes the line hit so much harder, as does the title drop. I'll be thinking about this for a while.
This is so good oml no words.
heheh thankyou for your kind words. I really tried to elevate the work with a bit of purple prose and hoped to god (no pun intended) that it wouldn't sound pretentious asf. I'm very curious of the synesthesia thing, esp how it manifests within different ppl and how it interferes with daily life. it's really nice to hear your work's interpretation being elevated to multiple senses at once, so thanks for that treat <333