*This story is underneath my folder titled “Alice and the aliens”. Gacha Club character designs are under this forum: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=116005&start=1320. Enjoy!*
Murete was a sixteen year old girl who loved to shop with her friends, Alice and Rebecca. She also liked making her own beaded bracelets and giving them to said friends.
She liked her name, but sometimes, she wished that she wasn’t literally named after death, because people at school would take that as an opportunity to make very corny, unfunny jokes about how her name was different from her personality. It was annoying. It wasn’t needed.
Murete wished that something more interesting could happen where she lived so that the people making the jokes would find something else to distract themselves with. Maybe it’d enrich them. Maybe it’d excite her.
Because as much as she loved creating, it wasn’t always enough to entertain her.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
And one more review for today ^^
I think I will read the other story tmr tho!
Hm I feel like the first paragraph doesn’t really tell us what the snippet will be about. I feel like usually you do a better job at explaining the character’s deal here ^^
Well I think that might have been intentional since nothing much really happened here? Muerte only got to reiterate that her name annoys her and that she might have accidentally caused all the stuff that happens by wishing on the wrong star XD
The closing sentence also could use a bit more punch. Especially the “always” really weakens an already rather non-descript final proclamation.
Keep writing and have a great day!
Join the fight! Write more reviews!