*This story is underneath my folder titled “Alice and the aliens”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy!*
In the planet of Somniat Memoria, where the tall grass glittered with silver, star-like specks and the sky held many different cascading colors, there was a woman with white hair that held the colors blue, teal, purple, and pink, with light blue eyes that had snake pupils, and power that wanted to crawl out of her and into the world around her.
Her name was D9302 and she was an “absorption vampire”, a vampire who took blood not by biting people, but by touching someone’s skin. The absorption vampires were not entirely immortal, for they could die if someone knew the right way to tear them apart, but if not, then they would remain alive. They couldn’t be turned, they had to be born with it. They’d age until they became adults, then they would stop.
Life as an absorption vampire was wonderful for D9302, as she felt like the most powerful creature alive from what she could do and from the words of her mother and father. But, she found it quite tedious that she had to touch an animal creature to eat and she didn’t just like eating the animals of Somniat Memoria. There were better living things to eat and there were more planets out there than anybody in Somniat Memoria knew.
So, as the years went on, D9302 tried to think of ways to make things better for herself and other absorption, trying to find the key to bring out more vibrance to their lives, until, one day, as an adult, when she was tinkering away with machinery, she got an idea!
She had gotten the idea to make tubes that, when attached to people, she and other absorption vampires could suck the blood! What was more was that she also made lights that could be attached to aircrafts, which she and the others could then turn on and use to suck blood from a distance!
It was absolutely beautiful, D9302’s idea and she would go throughout Somniat Memoria and across the galaxy, searching for beings to eat, to get stronger, to get better and she wouldn’t do it alone, either! D9302 would find others who would agree with her, have them join her in on her escapades and they would call themselves…
The Life Seekers. Her parents would be proud!
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,050 Literary Works • 672,402 Reviews
“Somniat Memoria” is Latin for “Dream memory”.
D9302 is a fascinating “absorption vampire” in a beautifully rendered world, and her ingenious blood‑siphoning technology adds a fresh and intriguing sci-fi twist
block blast
I'm here for another review! I'll be using my newly invented Pumpkin Pie method (Because it's fall and why not?)
The Crust (the foundation of your story):
1. Well done introducing D9302, her character is very complicated and very interesting.
2. World-building is consistent with your other stories, good job.
The Filling (the body of your story):
1. We found out the reasoning behind the new technology.
2. We found out more about her intentions and ambitions.
The whipping cream...is gone? (things that could've been better):
1. The first paragraph is a bit wordy. To avoid confusion, I would clean it up a bit.
2. I would've loved to know more about how the technology came to be. What gives the orange light the power to extract blood? Magic? Vibranium? lol.
3. D9302's parents piqued my interest. I would've loved to get to know more about who they were and what dreams and aspirations they had for their daughter.
4. The last sentence she mentions that her parents would be proud. Again, I would like to know why. Maybe it isn't that deep, and it just means that they'd be proud because they're her parents. That's good too.
Overall, solid work. With a few tweaks it'll be perfect.
With the utmost respect for your writing,
Cheerio.
I love how your stories carry great imagination and fantasy elements. They're so fun to read! I haven't read the other parts, but I look forward to your usage of imagination to develop the story. I also find interesting how you named this character - D9302, which reminds me of the number for robots in a sci-fi world. Does this carry some social-context meanings?
Well, in a way, maybe. D9302 believes that the lives of absorption vampires are worth more than any other creature because of their abilities.
More parts of the story are under my folder titled %u201CAlice and the aliens%u201D.