*This is the origin of Marcus, from my “V. S. L.” stories. This story is underneath my folder titled “V. S. L. (Vampire Spy League)”. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!*
Marcus Grendel traced his finger along the rain-streaked window of Cecilia’s car, his left leg shaking profusely.
It stopped since he was thinking about it. One of his legs would only shake whenever he was excited or anxious, and stop whenever he became conscious of it. It happened rarely, but when it did, it’d take a few minutes for Marcus to realize.
Thankfully, Cecilia didn’t remark about it. The last thing he needed was for his embarrassing tendencies to be pointed out, especially when he felt like his chest was compressing his own organs.
Marcus was ever so grateful that Cecilia was driving him to Eliza, grateful that she accepted him as Eliza’s boyfriend, and even more grateful that Eliza wanted to go to prom with him.
Prom. His first time dressing up with his girlfriend, as though they were both adults. That was another thing, too. After Prom, Marcus and Eliza were going off to different colleges, expected to study and leave with enough knowledge to make it in the world. They would be just like Cecilia, who had graduated grade school a few years ago.
How was he supposed to know that everything was going to be okay? That he’d be able to make it out there? Wasn’t he supposed to have everything figured out? When he was little, Marcus thought that he’d know just what to do when the time came, that when he got older, everything would fall into place.
Years and years went on, with every dream changing, never joining clubs, never thinking much about what he loved, always just simply “existing”. How did people get hobbies? How did people know exactly what they wanted to be from the get-go? What was he going to do? Sixteen years old, and he still felt like he learned nothing.
What about Eliza? Would they go to different colleges? Would she even go to college? What if she got a job and got so busy that their relationship just wouldn’t work? What if they spoke long-distance and then just gave up? What if they never talked at all but then one day met up, only for it to never be the same again? What if they never got married? What if it was just a one-time thing?
That was life, Marcus supposed. High school sweethearts were just that, high school sweethearts. They never lasted long, and if they did, that was a miracle. His own parents cut ties with people they dated in high school.
People changed, and times grew grey. That was life, but Eliza was everything. School was everything. He didn’t like work, but goodness, joking with his friends made it all worthwhile. Making Eliza smile made it all worthwhile. What if all of that went away? What if Marcus had no one? What if he ended up alone? He could deal with forever searching for what he loved, but he could not deal with being alone. He’d have a hollow heart, and fade into the background, just like everyone around him. Was it meant to happen to adults? Fading away? Conforming? Was a bleak life inevitable?
Cecilia never spoke a word. Good. She must have thought the same things he did when she went to Prom, except it was better for her because she went with friends. She didn’t worry about “high school sweethearts” and never cared about desperately holding onto love like he did. At least, that was what Eliza told him. Moments passed through her, she was calm and collected, like a still lake, she believed that life would take her where it needed to.
If she asked him how he felt about Prom or his life in general, he would have began to sob. No, he didn’t want to talk. Talking would let it all out, would pour it out in an ocean-storm. Marcus would apologize to his parents later for having a meltdown when they asked him questions about how he felt. All they did was care, it wasn’t their fault that he was growing up.
It wasn’t their fault that Jude went missing.
Jude went missing when Marcus was fourteen, when he and Eliza were merely friends then. He never returned home from school.
Jude, his identical twin brother. Jude, who was once conjoined to him. The story from his parents went that Marcus and Jude were born as conjoined twins, but that they were separated in surgery. He still had the scar on his right hip.
Jude always wanted to be a painter. He made art ever since he was five, and even gave some pictures to Marcus. Jude didn’t care about what would come in the future. The way he saw it, everything would be okay, because he was alive, still standing on his own two feet. If Jude were around, he’d tell Marcus not to fret too much, because then he wouldn’t enjoy what he had.
If only Jude were here. He’d know just what to say to calm me down. He’d help me see things clearly, he’d show me the bright side of things. Marcus thought.
Marcus rubbed the side of his hip that had the scar. It stung like a fresh wound whenever he touched it. Why did they ever have to be separated? If they were still joined at the hip, Jude would have never disappeared. Sure, it’d look strange, but who cared? They wouldn’t be alone, they’d help each other throughout the way. Besides, everyone looked strange to someone. What difference would conjoined brothers make?
A faded memory surfaced to his mind, one he wished would sink into the back of his brain, never to return again.
But he couldn’t stop it. It always came whenever he was thinking about Jude too much, the time when he went to the kitchen and asked Mom if he and Jude could be sewn back together, only to be told they’d be freaks yet again.
“We had to separate you two. It was so easy, you were only joined at the hip. You should be lucky. Some kids are joined at the head and can’t be separated.” Mom had said to him.
Marcus, a small child then, crossed his arms and said:
“That doesn’t sound so bad. I don’t mind being attached to Jude. We’d be best friends!”
Mom placed a hand on her forehead and sighed, frustrated.
“Kids would make fun of you.” She said.
“I don’t care! I’d have Jude!” Marcus cried out. Wouldn’t everything just feel right if they were put together.
“That’s impossible, and thank goodness it is. I’d have ugly sons.” Mom said, eyes going hard with anger.
He couldn’t believe it. She called them both ugly. Tears tugged at Marcus’ eyes, and spilled out. Mom sighed and shook her head, getting back to scrubbing the counter. Weren’t Moms supposed to love their children? In all of the fairytales he read, Moms cared. Moms loved, no matter what.
So why did she hate?
Jude tugged on Marcus’ arm, leading him to his room.
“Let’s play a game, then we’ll both be happy.” Jude said with a smile.
Marcus nodded weakly. A game would be nice. Just the two of them, without the world to bother them, without getting yelled at, without expectations.
Just the two of them…
Marcus’ face pressed into the window as the car tumbled around him, wheels screeching on the street, white light blinding his eyes, Cecilia screaming in terror.
……………………………………………………..
Marcus opened his eyes. His head was on a desk, he was the only student in a classroom.
Except, wasn’t he supposed to be going to Prom? Where was Cecilia and Eliza? Where was he?
He lifted his head from the desk. From the windows was the light of the moon, joined by an occasional crackle of thunder, angel streaks in the void. The rain pattered softly, like the footsteps of faeries.
“Marcus.” A voice said.
Marcus whipped his head to the front of his desk, where the voice was coming from. It was a voice he made sure to remember, a good-natured, confident voice, one that would rise above a whisper.
A flash of lighting cracked briefly, giving him the chance to see that unmistakably standing in front of him was none other than…
“Jude?” Marcus asked, almost afraid that he’d disappear if Marcus said his name.
No, he didn’t disappear. Instead, he placed his hands over Marcus’ and smiled, teeth glinting brightly in the darkness, nails feeling oddly long and pointed…
“It’s a lot to take in, I know. But I’ve been found by them. The demons. They’d made me a demon, and now, you are one too. I’ve turned you myself. We are in the School of Demons, where nothing can ever hurt us.” Jude said.
Marcus jerked away. No, it had to be a dream. Demons didn’t exist, and Jude was still missing. His own brother couldn’t be a monster. The humanoid thing with the glinting teeth and the sharp claws couldn’t be Jude, who always held him close, as though they were never separated in the first place, who always played games, who always made him paintings.
But Marcus felt his own teeth biting deeply into his tongue, could taste bitter, yet slightly salted, blood in his mouth. His nails felt too carnivorous, too predatory, to be human.
Something within him was screeching to get out, pleading to break free. It crawled all around him in spindly circles, till it reached his throat, and out his mouth it went, scarlet flames bringing light to the room before crawling back to his throat.
It didn’t hurt one bit.
Jude chuckled lightly, as though he heard a particularly humorous joke.
“All demons can do that. Observe!” Jude boomed.
Marcus watched with wide eyes as magnificent flames flowed from Jude’s mouth and back inside, just as he watched Jude paint masterpieces, the fire within Jude blossoming more than Marcus’ fire.
“You’re with me now. As long as we have each other, we’ll be okay. I promise.” Jude said gently.
As much as Marcus wanted to grasp into Jude’s throat, pull out the words, and swallow them whole, filling him with carefree innocence, Cecilia’s screams tugged at his mind. What happened to her? Better yet, was Eliza around, waiting to take his hand to dance endlessly?
“What about Cecilia? Is she okay? Is Eliza okay? Are they both okay? Are they demons, like us?” Marcus asked.
Unlike a few minutes earlier, it was his right leg that begun to shake, not his left.
“You’re doing it again. I can hear the thumping from under the desk. It’s okay. They’re both fine. I hear that they are vampires right now. You’ll see them again, I’m sure. I’ll ask the demons. They have to let you see them, they’re people you care about. If they don’t, I’ll make them. I’ve got it all figured out. Trust me.” Jude said.
A hand covered in skin that had protruding, jagged claws reached out to Marcus. If he just took the hand, then Jude would show him the way, like he always did. Being a demon couldn’t be any worse than being human. He’d be free to do what he pleased, without anyone telling him this or that.
But what about Eliza and Cecilia? What about his friends? Wouldn’t they miss him? Would he ever see them again? Would they ever make any fond memories together? Would he ever build a life that would be seen as worthy? Was he missing out on the experience? Would he be lazy not to accept that life wasn’t always daisies and roses?
Jude had disappeared two years ago, but ever since then, he’d felt the need to rub his scar until it bled, tears halting in his eyes, but never pouring down.
He didn’t feel like rubbing his scar at the moment. Jude was alive and well, ready to help him out. Jude never turned his back on him. Jude promised to figure everything out. Jude never broke a promise, Jude never told a lie.
Marcus took hold of Jude’s hand. It didn’t matter what he was. What they were. At the end of the day, they were still brothers, and brothers always stuck together.
Jude was going to fix everything.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Hello! Ley here to review this awesome piece for you! I'm using my fantasy themed review method today. I hope this review helps in more ways than one. Let's get into it!
A Journey Begins:
It seems like we have an origin story here. We always love a good lore drop/background story. And from reading the description, I think this may be a bit romantic, which I absolutely love. Let's get into it!
Glimmers in The Gloom:
This line is so relatable in a way to describe anxiety. Lovely job putting me in Marcus' shoes here! Especially the 'compressing his own organs' part, I could actually feel it. Awesome job!
Wow, the anxiety is really hitting poor Marcus here! It just shows that his character tends to overthink things, and I wish I could give him a hug and say that it's normal to feel this way-- though I wonder if there's something else that happened to make him this way (that I may have missed from previous parts), but either way, it gave me a good look at Marcus' internal thoughts!
The big revelation! Amazing writing here! It seems like more Marcus is going through the stages of grief from Jude's revelation, of course, first starting with Denial! And the fact the whole thing about prom may have been a dream, and Jude's 'death', kind of foreshadows what may have already happened or what might happen in the future.
Magic Upgrades:
I couldn't find any mistakes or recommendations for this epilogue. Amazing job!
The Final Enchantment:
Overall, I love the way this epilogue was formatted, and the twist near the end where he wakes up to Jude's voice, was the perfect ending. Thank you for sharing, and I hope to read more pieces like this soon! <3
Thank you for taking time to read this review! I hope you have a lovely day <3
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: This is quite nicely done here. I love seeing a more fleshed out origin story like this with so many more details sprinkled in, it really showcases a lot more that way.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well this is quite the start here. Looks to be like we've got our friend here in quite a tough spot there. It seems getting out is proving to be fairly difficult too judging by the general air of everything around this person.
Well this is quite a sobering set of problems here for a change. Not exactly tons of supernatural dangers, just the ones that come with growing up and you portray them just as powerfully here. This is a lovely little setup you've got here.
Ooh never thought I'd run into problems quite this terrifying in a vampricone story but here we are and you are doing a wonderful jobb of bringing across these fears. The way you bring up the thoughts are really well done here.
Love how these thoughts are sort of spiraling from one to the other here and going off on tangents. It really makes it feel that much more real there and sells the kind of headspace he is in.
Oohh well it seems we've got ourselves another character and a very important one at that coming in. Well that certainly adds to everything here. Let's see where exactly that ends up taking us. It looks set to be quite the moment.
Well that definitely really enriches this backstory here. You can get a real feel for exactly how much of an effect all of this has on poor Marcus and just how low he feels in this moment even from these older pains.
Well this is quite the memory. That is truly an angle I've never considered with conjoined twins there, definitely adds a layer of sadness to a surgery like that which I never would've imagined otherwise.
Well that certainly is not the mother of the year. You can certainly see why exactly this memory is one that just haunts poor Marcus even to this day no matter how much he tries to forget it.
Well that does not seem like its going to be anything good oh dear. I don't think Marcus is about to have a very good day here poor thing, having relieved pain and thought of so many saddening things only for this cherry on top.
Oh dear for a moment I thought perhaps it was a classic just woke up from a dream moment but the vibes here seem to be much more akin to the afterlife from the looks of things which definitely makes this day much worse.
Aand somehow it is getting even worse than that. Welp looks like poor Jude has been corrupted by some sort of evil force and now Marcus is also going to end up suffering quite a bit there as a result of all of that. Things are certainly getting worse and worse here.
Well at the very least I suppose Marcus gets a bit of a cool power there although I can say quite confidently that that will not make any of what happened here today be anything good.
Oooh well I almost forget there about the other occupants of the car but that's certainly a concern. I love how Marcus is so sorely tempted by this promise that does seem good on the surface but also how he does realize things are not going to just be that easy.
OOoh well it seems Marcus is going to accept the fact that this situation is not one that he can really hope to control here. That is certainly an interesting path to be taking here. I think it comes in quite nicely in terms of showcasing how he is going to almost resign himself to this.
Oooh it looks like Marcus just accepts this is his new future now and seems to embrace that at the very least his brother is with him and that at least in a time previous has never been a bad thing.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall you've done a wonderful job here bringing this together and I think it really brings across quite a powerful tale. You can really feel all of those emotions quite strongly. Quite nicely done!
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Kate