After rewatching the Linkin Park event honoring the life of Chester Bennington again last night, I found myself eternally thankful for the unwavering courage, skill and compassion Mike Shinoda has shown during all this, already so painful and close to home for the man, and in the late hours, before I drifted off to sleep in bed, I wrote this down on my phone.
*
The Star
When things break down,
from weariness and rust.
It’s the shiniest cog in the machine,
that’s left to gather up the dust.
But all things get
their due.
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137,902 Literary Works • 672,070 Reviews
Hey, LittleLee here for a review!
Firstly, the poem is very nice. To refer to it as a cog in a machine is quite fascinating. I especially like the last line, but I think you shouldnt have left it at that. Maybe you could have added another line to it or so, to make it rhyme and to give it a better ending. The poem itself is rather abstract, looking at a star in a new perspective. I must congratulate you on this! There is actually nothing else negative I want to say, this poem is short and sweet and just about perfect apart from the one thing that I said. Well done!
birk
Hi I'm Ishan212 and I am here to review your work,
The Star. So here we go.
The Star.
It was this poem, if any, that had to be in the Literary Spotlight Section.
I miss the magical and powerful voice of Chester Bennington.
"But all the things get their due"
This line says it all.
Fantastic Work!!!
Had to be in the Literary Spotlight.
Keep Writing!!!
Ishan
PS. This is much less than a review.
But you know...
Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! Grim is here as well, drinking hot cocoa and being a slacker. *Grim looks over, glaring* So, lets get started.
So, the first thing I notice is that well, nothing! It all looks and reads great, the wording spectacular and pleasing to my mind. My favorite line would have to be "It’s the shiniest cog in the machine," I love the wording and it makes me think of Alice in Wonderland, but like steampunkish. Such a lovely thought buuut back on topic!
Now is when I dissect your poem and see if I can't get its meaning right! So, in your poem you are telling us, the reader, that things, that people will all get there time. Their time to shine in their own ways. They will get tired and they will get stressed. We will get old and weary. But some, for some that is just not soon enough. We all die at one point and that is fine but live you life to its fullest, no?
Overall, I loved the poem and keep up the good work! Happy Halloween! I really need to go now Grim has souls to reap and he needs more cocoa. He has a problem, seriously. Cheerio and fruit loops to you!
Hello birk! Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!
When things break down,
Give me your soul.With that aside, I'm not the best at poetry but here we go!
Bold = grammar and flow issues.
Italics = suggestions and overall
Strikethrough= removeUnderline = krazy Kara komments.
Spoiler
from weariness and rust.
It’s the shiniest cog in the machine{}
that’s left to gather up the dust.
But all things get their due. {This line isn't needed? I dunno, it feels like it was just put there for the heck of it. I would recommend making this an entire other stanza or remove it}
My interpretation:
Well, you explained it in the author's note lol
Overall:
Overall, I liked it, but that one part I felt like wasn't needed. Keep up the great work!!
Why haven’t you given me your soul yet? --
Kara
Hey, my name is Noelani, I hope you don't find this review offensive.In your story I feel that there should be more written, unless it's a mystery.If so than it's just perfect.With that said I would love to hear more stories from you.Also a recommence of this story. I have found interest in your voice(writing)