Manic Pixie Dream Girl
I need a manic pixie dream girl,
if not for myself,
then for my own peace of mind.
A once in a lifetime journey,
to jolt me back into existence.
Free from these shackles I made myself.
The world would open up again,
all the colors would come back.
And I would feel.
But only once,
just this one time.
And never again.
Otherwise,
I’d get stuck on you instead.
Almost like before.
And the world would move on.
With all its colors, emotions and joy.
Without me.
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140,573 Literary Works • 673,519 Reviews
Hello, rhia here!
I was just wondering, is "piece of mind" a typo meant to be "peace" of mind? Or was that just a clever play on words? I'm just curious, cause it seems like it could be either one. I know we're used to hearing "peace of mind", so it would be an interesting one to switch up, but also easy just to spell wrong. Just nosy, sorry.
That's totally a typo! Thank you very much, I don't know how that slipped me by.
Fixed
Glad to help! I didn't want to offend if it had been intentional (I had someone decide that my intentional line breaks and use of white space must have been a typo and called them disastrous, imagine!) so I wanted to be subtle.
Hey there! Purple here to give you a review! Let's get started.
This is a unique subject that I honestly don't see enough of in poetry. A litte fantasy mixed with longing of enlightenment makes this really interesting! For some reason, I thought about books while reading this. I know with the manic fairy you probably meant an exciting girl that would help you feel again, but I also thought about if it was a real fairy. Sometimes real life can seem bland and unsatisfying after reading thrilling books about adventure and magic. So a little element of that i.e. a fairy might make you feel alive again versus real boring life. It's probably not what you meant but that's one nice thing about poetry how it can touch on multiple relatable ideas to the reader. Unlike the last reviewer, I think your current format is fine and you should do whatever is comfortable with you..because actually the tone can slightly change in a format like their example. I don't mean to pick fights or something, I just think how you have it now is just fine. Keep up the great work and have a nice day!
~Purple
the first three stanzas are brilliant....they talk about that important element that you lack, without which your world seems without an impact...you need to feel more, may be you need it/her more...very well expressed...now, i will move on to the next part.
"But only once,
just this one time.
And never again.
Otherwise,
I’d get stuck on you instead.
Almost like before.
And the world would move on.
With all its colors, emotions and joy.
Without me."
' but' needs to be eliminated...also
"Otherwise,
I’d get stuck on you instead.
Almost like before."
you are already stuck with the world!
and the world must
move on,
with all its colours, emotions and joy, missing me,
the toy......
as opposed to your last stanza....hope it helps...very well-written on an over all...write more..