Friday, March Twenty-Third

My Silent Father,

I apologize
for saying that,
for doing such
to make you
mad
or sad
or whatever
I ended up
making you
feel.

I apologize
for existing
in a way
that isn't
known
or acceptable
in your eyes
or their eyes
or whoever
is watching.

I apologize
for putting you
in a position
to do what
you did
and not
look back
in the
process
of it.

I apologize
for getting
back up
after being
knocked down,
but I am
not what
I was
before
this.

I apologize
for changing,
for adapting
into what
I am today
because
I thought
new was
alright
with you.

I apologize
for screaming
at you
when you
proposed
an alternative,
but it
appeared
unfair
to me.

And if
this apology
does not
suit you,
then I'm
done.

I don't
know what
else to
say
other than
what I have.

I do not
regret
all
that I've
said
to you.

I do not
regret
what
happened
earlier
this week.

But I do
regret
what
happened
this time
last year.

This is
different,
I'd wish
you could
see.
I am not
who
I used
to be!

History...
If history
can repeat
itself,
than I
can decide
this for
myself.

This is
my life,
not yours.
I'm sorry
to say
you're not
in control.

Love,
Your Eldest Daughter