What Happened (Temporary Title)

by TheClosetKidnapper

Published March 23, 2012

In Poems

What happened
to us,
was nothing
but lust,
so please stop
this talk of
your love.

'Cause you were
messin' 'round
with ten other
girls
while with me.

What happened
to us,
was nothing
but fake,
so please stop
this talk of
my face.

'Cause your
flattery
won't get you
past me
anymore.

What happened
to us,
was nothing
but talk,
until
physical
got in the way.

'Cause you were
messin' 'round
with my heart
and emotions
every day.

So, what happens,
when the wrong
needs to be right?

So, what happens,
when the strong
needs to give up the fight?

So, what happens,
when the ending
isn't what you thought?

This happens,
sweetheart,
we were done
from the start,
but now it's over
finally.
Comments & reviews · 1
User avatar
KandiNekol01d
Review
KandiNekol01d wrote a review Review · Jun 25, 2013

Hiya!
Well I like how it's a short, quick-to-read poem. Almost lyrical with the repetition too. There's only a few things I want to say: as I read it I felt that the rhythm/flow of words were slightly choppy occasionally (in my opinion) - they didn't transition too well. Also, I think it would've been better to say,

"but now it's finally
over."

instead of,

"but now it's over
finally."

That's one of the parts that didn't seem to work out very well.
Anyway, I understand this is an older poem (noticed the date: 3/23/12) but I saw this didn't have any reviews, so I just wanted to give a little feedback while I was online. I hope this helped, somehow. =P



I think I have thankfully avoided being quoted.
— Lavvie