What's Mine

I really liked this poem! I can relate to it, I'm like that a lot. I also like how there's a constant, subtle rhyme, which is what really gives it character. I know that always struggle to put words that rhyme down without making it sound like Dr. Seuss. And you did the rhyming very well.

The only thing that I can knit-pick at is that the third stanza starts off awkwardly, it doesn't follow the meter as well as the first two.

But other than that, I loved it! I can't wait to read more!!!



~*lol call me Andrew I guess

I love the way it rhymes, sometimes adding rhyming in gives the poem a lighter happier feeling but I think you avoided that well here. I think more repition of 'what's mine' would have added more to the poem and justified the title slightly more but other than that, I loved it!

I like the start of it. Don't like how there are only two repetitive lines. (Just let me be).
The third verse doesn't rhyme
The ending is kind of out there. Not what I was expecting.

Oh, I really like this! Your rhyme scheme is perfect, it accentuates the feel of the poem. I just love when people use rhymes right. I really like how you use repetition in this poem, it works very well, first the line "just let me be " and then "I'm taking back what's mine".
If I were you I'd use a little less punctuation in the first and second stanzas, but you're the poet, it's your decision. I like the spacing of your poem as well, it's very visually appealing.
Anyways, thanks for posting, I love to read really good poetry, so thank you!
-Storm

This is a very unique poem. It really works well in our society today, what with all the anti-bullying campaigning going on. The voice works very well for the subject of the poem, but does sound kind of selfish (You have the word mine in there a lot). The thrid stanza is very confusing: He/She saying,
"So take all you want from me... I'm taking back what's mine". You could've said something along the lines of:
You've taken all you can from me
money
family
pride
But you cannot take my spirit

I'm taking back what's mine.

I really like this poem a lot! While reading this, I imagined a boy being pushed up against a wall, and as the bullies are beating him up, he suddenly decideds to fight back. Although there was hardly any discriptive language, you didn't need it! Write On!