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139,521 Literary Works • 672,597 Reviews
Ooooh, creepy.
I like this, I really do.
Emotion: * * * * *
The emotion in this one is terrifying (in a good way), it is very well described, and the added appeal of the rhyme just tops it off. Some poems, can really be ruined because of the rhyme, but in this one, it would of felt of place! This made me feel like I was the killer, and my favourite line was this:
(I can't figure out how to quote yet, sorry!)
As her tears fall like ashes.
The emotion, five stars!
Idea: * * * * *
I get the idea, it's sad, and you put it across well, and you seem to have written it prepared. Instead of juts writing it with no idea. Five stars.
Writing: * * * *
Four stars. The writing is excellent, I wouldn't of wrote it better myself. I have a little idea for you, you could explain a bit more what's going on. Who is she? Why is she like this? Adding a couple more lines could help. Your description was great.
Grammar and Spelling: * * * * *
I love your grammar. I could learn from you. Heh. Five stars.
Overall: 4.75 stars.
Greta little poem. Great emotion, descriptive language, well written, good grammar, nice idea, but maybe a bit more explaining. Well done, and keep writing.
Tobes-
Hope this helped.