Falling

Thank you both so much!

@Moonlight - I see now what you mean about the second to last stanza and understand that the numb part sounds a little weird. I'll get on it right away.

Thanks again! I don't really consider myself much of a poet so this means a lot

I just read your poem, and it's probably by far one of my favorites so far on the site.

The title, Falling, is perfect for this piece. I interpret falling as this sense of freedom from the world while doing art. Your poem really expresses that.

In a sense, a lot of artists must allow themselves to metaphorically "fall" when they paint in order for their emotions to show through in their art, which is why it's so powerful. It's hard to explain this sense of falling in words. One piece of it is forgetting about criticism and putting everything on hold to indulge. But there is so much more that just can't be captured in words. This poem captures a lyrical sense of inspiration that describes the flow of being an artist and how to let it carry you away to a better place.

I got super inspired from reading it because it brings up a very philosophical message- that art is about allowing yourself to be at one with your emotions in this falling way. Right now I'm going through a "stuck" phase, myself, and this really inspired me because it shows that art isn't necessarily about holding on to what you're feeling, it's about letting go.

I really need to read this. It really helped inspire me.

Lately, I haven't been allowing myself to really fall into my art or writing, but you have an amazing point when you send the message you're sending here. An amazing and powerful point.


Here's one suggestion. In the second to last stanza, the word "numb" seems a little too solid and not flowing enough to fit the philosophical message... I think numb is one way of looking at it, but being free from emotional turmoil isn't necessarily numb, in fact, it's better than numb, something more powerful. Numb can have many connotations and many sensations, but in my opinion (and I could be interpreting this all wrong) I don't think "numb" really fits in such an emotionally powerful poem... Maybe if you added a contrasting adjective before numb, it would sound more poetic. Something ironic, maybe? If you don't think that's a good idea, by all means, you should leave it as is. It's a question of style. I often have contrasting words next to each other in my poetry, because I feel that they help people get a more visceral idea of what I mean, which is a main reason why I suggest this. I don't mean to be too controlling. Style is in the hands of the creator. But it's just a thought.

I was actually thinking "Freely numb, I can't feel," or something like that. Maybe a sense of relief would be a good addition? Or a sense of emotional freedom, exploration, or adventure. Not sure if that's what you meant. Once again, just an idea. I hope I'm not pressuring you.

I think there is a lot of symbolism in "but the colors can't touch." My interpretation is that, as you paint, you're unconsciously following this abstract blueprint that you're not aware of, however you end up creating this amazing piece of completely free artwork not bound by rules at all.

In the second stanza down, you wrote tangerine sky, with sky strategically on the next line from tangerine. I thought that this was a pretty cool idea. Although I'm being super analytical, and you probably didn't notice it as you wrote, I think this shows that there is a lot of room to create your own rules and be free when you do art, because it's not as conventional in structure, plus, it gives the poem's rythym a sense of "falling" itself.

I also like how your metaphors.

This poem is really good. You've got amazing talent and fervor.

I really liked this. It totally captures the feeling of falling, but in a different explanation or perspective, I guess. The word pairs and choices were great, so nothing really sounded odd.

Here's my favorite stanza:

"Now I am peaceful
In terms with this end
The wind is my keeper
Forever I am"

I liked it, because it wraps the poem up well, but leaves you hanging with, "I am" and then you wonder what.

Overall, I really liked it. Good job.