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139,521 Literary Works • 672,597 Reviews
Hey Turtle that is lucky! ^^ (I love turtles, they are awesome)
I'm here to review this little piece of poetry you have got here. I see that you haven't gotten any reviews on this one yet so let us quickly change that! I will try my best to give you a decent one that makes sense.
Alright, let us get to it. This is a very simple piece and doesn't leave much open to imagination. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but right now it sounds more like you just needed to write this down for yourself. Don't get me wrong, this poem does show the feeling very well and I love the sarcasm in it but I would love to see you use more words to describe it and leave the reader guessing a bit about what you are indicating. Just add some imagery. ^^
Like I said, this poem does display the feeling very well and I could really feel the anger in this, so congratulations on that. ^^
It is a good start, I would just love to see you expand on it and play around with the words a bit. =) And I truly hope you felt better after penning this down if this is based on something that has happened in your own life. *hands cookies*
I hope this was at least a little helpful and keep on writing! ^^
qaralynn