Verse I
I'm tired of falling,
of fading in the background,
of screaming when my voice cannot be heard.
Verse II
I'm sick of dreaming
of a life I know I can't have,
of a life I know I don't deserve.
Chorus I
And I won't hold on,
to life that's not worth living.
'Cause this whole thing is
as screwed up as can be.
Yeah, this is life;
it just sucks to be me.
Verse III
I'm tired of hearing,
all the talk of people
I will never be.
Verse IV
I'm sick of striving,
to reach your expectations,
to live somewhere I can't breathe.
Chorus II
No, I won't hold on,
to a life that's not worth living.
'Cause this whole thing is
as screwed up as can be.
Yeah, this is life;
it just sucks to be -
Bridge
I won't have you tell me
that I'm not worth the time,
or that I'm not worth the nickel
to your dime.
'Cause I'm everything
you were hoping to find.
Even if it sucks to be me.
Chorus III
I won't hold on;
this life's not worth living.
'Cause this whole thing's
so screwed up, you see.
No, I won't hold on;
this life means nothing.
'Cause this whole thing's
as rigged to have picked me.
Yeah, this is life.
It just sucks to be me.
Sucks to be me.
It sucks; you'll see.
'Cause this isn't me.
Hi!
It's very much a strong speaker.
So I liked the first 2 verses, but I feel like it loses focus as it goes on. It does become a bit rant-y as someone below me mentioned. It just doesn't flow quite right because in my opinion the whole "sucks to be me" is a pretty young/unrefined thought, however the first 2 verses are much more mature and refined. I feel like if you reworked this poem to be one or the other it would flow a lot better. You do an excellent job of getting the emotion across though
Hi, Turtle!
) I'd work out the bridge more.
I notice people can read, like, the first line of my reviews right now. So I'm going to with you a happy Review Day before moving on to the good part!
Happy Review Day! 8D
Okay! So this song was interesting. It definitely had a strong voice, and that helps a lot with delivering the message. It certainly did its job in this song! I like the details in the first half of the song. They helped with getting some sympathy out of the reader/listener for the speaker!
I don't really have any nitpicks, so yay!
I did feel like this song was quite a... rant-fest, I suppose. By the end, I didn't really care for the speaker anymore because it felt like they were complaining so much. I did notice a weird change in the story. Or at least, in my opinion, it did. At first, the speaker was just talking in general about why life sucks. They list some pretty good (or should I say sucky? xD) points, so I was okay with that! But then somewhere along the line, they start talking to someone. So I would certainly rethink your audience. Who are you trying to reach out to?
Secondly, I know the point of the song is that life kinda sucks. And not just any life: the speaker's life. Buuut because a lot of people share the same pain the speaker's feeling, it felt very selfish in my opinion. Thus, ranty. Therefore, I didn't care for the speaker by the end. xD (Now this, could also mean I'm not interested in this sort of genre? I'm not sure.)
There was a brief point that confused me. Let me find it quick... Oh! The bridge! While the song is putting the speaker down, the bridge shows this random ray of confidence that doesn't fit anywhere in the message. So now there's another message that I'm not quite getting. XD Put in ALL THE MESSAGES! (Actually, no, don't.
So this piece is a good start, but I feel like some editing is needed here. I didn't leave this song wanting more, which isn't technically a good sign. However, I know you're capable of better, so no worries! 8D Reorganize your thoughts before tackling the piece itself. It'll shape up much better when you understand what you're trying to do with the song.
Keep writing!
Jabber, the One and Only!
Spoiler
WOW!
this is good and really meaningful! I enjoyed it heaps and heaps!
I don't review many songs so I don't know what to look for but from what I can see this is good!
To me though some of it sounds a bit cliche, maybe that is just me.
Maybe try and find something more original, not in the content but in your choice or words!
I hope that wasn't a terrible review
Nargles
Aw UAO
But Here is the Rant Shop Manager to Review you Awesomeness.
;;;
First, it looks more of a ranting But! it will make up a good song. What matters is that it was written from the heart. I can feel the message that you are trying to tell the audience and I can feel how you feel----which means, you as a writer knows how to build Connection. That simply implies that you are a good writer
This really is just... wow.
I enjoyed this so much! I could feel the emotion in the words, however, I think that making the verses longer and maybe getting into more detail of the phrase "it sucks to be me" in these verses and you would have quite a touching piece.
Yo Rocky its your buddy LoyalHeart here for a review!
First off I got to say in the words of my english teacher, "THIS KNOCKED MY SOCKS OFF AND MADE ME WANT TO DROOL!" Yes I know that was a little far who cares? But I really do like it, it shows how your feeling and who you really want to be as a person and not by someone elses expectations. One thing I can say is try to make a few of the verses longer, cause I did find them to be a bit short in terms of verses unless you were going for a poem type song. But thats all I can really say, a lot of this is up to taste in music as far as someone could say really, but overall it was good, it was unqice and definitly can be put into an album if you really tried.
Keep up the good work, this has been your buddy LoyalHeart with a 8 out of 10 good job!