So it began in the breaking day,
my fingers stretching out
to grab the covers laced
with morning light,
to shake the sinews of
the dew-dripped trees
and pull the daytime
through my hair.
I stumble into waking feet,
look out the window
to wonder, Do I dare?
.
Waiting walls caress me,
brush my skin as I skirt across
the hall with leaf-spiral steps
that fall, branch-by-branch,
without a care -
while a ginger cat awaits
and purs, mint green eyes
demanding, Do you dare?
.
And reclusive, smiling eyes
carve through the twisted
willow trees, and tangled roots
like fingers point and curl
towards paths I’ve never
dared disturb,
and without a word
the forest does declare,
Do you dare?
Do you dare?
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,481 Literary Works • 673,248 Reviews
OK, here to review this awesome poem. This left you hanging. Do you dare what? Your first stanza was amazing. I loved the touches about the outside.
So it began in the breaking day,
my fingers stretching out
to grab the covers laced
with morning light,
to shake the sinews of
the dew-dripped trees
and pull the daytime
through my hair.
I stumble into waking feet,
look out the window
to wonder, Do I dare?
That is some of the best writing I'v ever ad. So descriptive and powerful, it draws out a perfect picture for the readers in just a few great lines; the part about the trees was probably my favorites part.
You section with the cats is rally east to envision, I can just see them giving you that questing and accusing look.
Keep it up!
Hi there. Ariana with your review. So, to start off, I have to agree with the reviewers below me. I was quite fond of the recurring "do I dare". I felt like it really brought something to the poem. Also the descriptions were splendid. They were very elaborately written, full of a variety of different metaphors and similes. You also used a wide range of vocabulary. This was a very neat job and I as impressed. I am also pleased to inform you that not only did I not see any errors, but was I overall pleased with what I read. I do not have any criticisms to offer you.
Hey, Weaver!
The name's Storm, and I'll be doing a quick review for ya this afternoon.
However, there is one line that has me a bit confused on the choice of wording. You wrote:
Firstly, I absolutely love the descriptions you used throughout this poem. It's beautifully brilliant, honestly. You wrote it in such a way that the reader can sense and see the scene you have painted in "Do I Dare?"
Next, after reading over this a few times, I don't see any grammatical or mechanical mistakes. So I applaud you for that.
I stumble into waking feet,
Does this mean that the speaker of the poem walks into a pair of someone's chopped off, sleepy feet on the floor? Maybe I'm just totally over analyzing it! You tell me.
That's about it for this quickie! There really wasn't much else to correct.
The repetition of "do I dare?" definitely puts emphasis on the phrase. It makes the reader wonder, "What do you dare to do?" What I've concluded from the poem is that the speaker is looking down undisturbed paths on a new day, wondering if they dare follow them. Is this hitting close to the meaning? xD Lol Please tell me, Weaver! I'm really curious now.
Loved it, so as always: Write on!
---Stormsie
I like the recurring "Do you dare?" over and over and over. It left me going, "Do I dare WHAT?" Really cool poem.