Young Writers Society

Helloo Stegosaurus!

This is Eros here to write a review for your wonderful poem, "Time"!!!

I am really happy to see that you express a great meaning through really few words. Its a real art of wrotong poetry, which you have. I appreciate you for this. I pause for a while, think over the poem once again, and feel the poem, which you have written so beautifully.
I can see a deep meaning in each line of the poem. You have described time very uniquely. The language is indeed hard to be comprehesioned. It does require a lot of readings to really understand the in depth meaning. And when I got an idea of what you are expressing, I felt to stand up and salute you and your poem. The importance, the need of time and everything else is described very beautifully...

Hi, Stego.

First, I must say, a very nice poem. I like it how it manages to tell so much through so little. This is the way I saw it, since I am certain that everyone looks at art from at least a slightly different perspective.

"A little will do, but for much more" We always want to have more of it (time). And with just a little we can accomplish great things, if we simply put our time to good use. We often find ourselves in situations where we are late for something, or where we want to do two or more things or attend two or more simultaneous events, and are simply unable to due to being constrained by time.

"Adore it with care, hope it won't bite" We are to cherish the time that we have. Sometimes we feel like we want time to pass very quickly, perhaps during some event we do not particularly like or some activity we do not want to do. But in the end we always end up missing whatever time we spent, no matter how we spent it. And it will, indeed, bite if we do not spend it the way we want to. I feel like this makes the poem super relatable.

"Feels like a bomb, over a city of stone." "A bomb over a city of stone", no matter how we use our time, even if we make a big explosion, it will still be a speck in the infiniteness of time itself. And while we make some changes that to us seem big, when viewed from far away, we have achieved so little.

"Many have tried, in turn, many have failed" By this I feel like you are saying that a lot of people have tried to beat time in any way, but none have been successful. Let's face it, we all take it for granted, and never expect it to get the better of us. But no matter what the situation, the only thing that is certain is that time passes, no matter how quickly.

A really nice poem. It made me re-think and re-evaluate how I spend my time, it made me regret how I have spent some of it, and more careful about how I spend my time in future.

I hope this review helps, and gives you an idea of how one of your readers felt when reading your poem. Keep up the great work!

This is a very strong poem, I like it. I like how you use all of these hidden messages, in a way, to describe time. I think your wording is pretty good, and I do not see any obvious corrections so I say you did a pretty good job! I like this piece, keep up the good work!

Wow short but meaningfull. I really loved this poem. It was great and just had feeling attached to it if you know what I mean. I also liked it because time is such a odd thing. I think it is odd because in a way we are just memory's because of how fast we live. It is odd to think about... Anyways I loved the poem and the style. I hope to see more!

Hey steg! I'm new to The Young Writers Society. This is one of the first poems I have read, and may I say I am intrigued by the way you describe time. I normally view time as a never-ending movement, but I find this perspective interesting. Great Job on this poem, I find that it is clever that the poem defines the title, rather than introducing the idea of time in the beginning.

Hello Stegosaurus! racket here to review your poem!
This is a really interesting way to describe time. I agree with Falconer and Cheetah below me in that it is accurate... Again, an interesting interpretation of time. I really like your second stanza; it shows very well the way some people approach life in general, kind of blind and bent on luck, working to keep out of harm's way. At least, that's how I interpreted it!
There's not much for me to suggest, as this is well done and short. I would suggest capitalizing the first letters in the lines of the first and second stanzas, as capitalization is a must in poetry and you do well with it in the rest of your poem.
I would also like to suggest a comma at the end of the first line of the first stanza, as I find myself wanting to pause for a bit after reading that line and moving on.
I would like to point out that, while it is poetic, the last stanza is a little too hazy for my taste. What was it 'many have tried' and failed at? I feel like just a little bit of specifics would be better at the end, but it is your poem and it does fit the mood of the rest of the poem perfectly. So, yeah, just an observation you don't need to act upon if you don't want to.
I really like how the whole poem is a definition/explanation of the title. It was nice how simple and meaningful you made these four short stanzas, and how they go almost perfectly together. Good job! I really enjoyed reading and reviewing this, so, keep up the good work! I can't wait to read more!
~racket

Hey there, Stegosaurus! IronSpark here for a quick review. First of all, sorry if what I'm saying is repetitive. I want to give you my unadulterated thoughts here, and some of those may have already been expressed by others.

I think this poem is simple and yet so, so complex. The metaphor definitely speaks to a larger truth and I think it connects with all your readers (and all humans) in a way that a poet really strives to connect. However, I'd love to see you emphasize and expand on this truth. Many poems benefit from simplicity (see "for sale / baby shoes / never worn" because it gives the reader room to finish the story and think about its consequences, but I feel like you still have lots of room to describe and really flesh out the connection between you, the poet, and your audience. I don't doubt you can.

As a fellow writer, I'd also love to see more rhythm and more flow. Right now, the metaphor can fall kind of flat (or, at least, not live up to its potential) because it doesn't stick in my mind. It feels a bit... disjointed, if you get me. Adding that beat would really enhance the wonderful ideas you communicate in the piece.

All in all, I think this is a brilliant idea. I'd love to see you do more with it!

IronSpark

Hey steg,
Halfbloodcheetah below me is right, it is quite accurate. However, I feel like this poem could se a bit of styling. It's short, and I know you may want to keep it that way, but there are tons of things you could expand on here. For example, you could (if you chose to keep it short) regulate the rhythm, and create a pattern. You could also tell us more about each idea- "Many have tried"- what have they tried? If you're talking about time, then perhaps immortality? It's left open ended, and perhaps that's the way you like it, but more information would be welcome. Additionally, some imagery in here would make this poem beautiful. Describe the devastating effects of a bomb over a city of stone- even if that's not your main subject, it helps to make metaphor more beautiful.

This is still a good poem, and the punctuation is very nice as well. I'm just offering up suggestions if you wish to modify it, and you can choose whether or not to change anything.

Happy writings!

-Falco

Hey Stegosaurus! It's your friendly neighborhood Cheetah, here to review!

I just want to say, that this poem is very accurate. Very interesting way to describe the time that we have. We live for awhile, while we go about we sometimes wish for more time not enjoying the time we are having right now.

As for grammar and spelling, You did great! Good job! I can not wait to read more of your writing!