the crystalline stars grow more incandescent every hour,
they illuminate a space where I can roam--
a mosaic of translucent transforms the canopy of sky,
where gossamer apparitions lead me towards my home.
wherever I may wander seems like a mirage,
with myriads of illusions brightening my path--
but living in a fragile world I know,
a montage of miracles transpires within a flash.
follow me into a diaphanous world of winter,
where longing ceases while spirits take our burdens away--
as snowflakes fall like confetti from mountain's heights,
and still I wander through mirrored visions.
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140,456 Literary Works • 673,225 Reviews
Hello there, wonderful Steggy! I'm here to write a review for you.
First of all, I can say that your work is lovely and catchy. The way you use words, it's a complete colorful blast. It's soft for me to read. The ideas remain close together. I suggest that you should use less confusing words for others to understand it more clearly but, it's still good for me. Good to read. Good to entertain. Good for many.
I also have a second advice. I think lines will be more attractive for the reader's eyes if the words own the right capitalization process. For some reasons, that thing is still needed for writers to become more comfortable for the readers to read their works. It's needed because it can attract more readers. It's needed 'cause capitalization is a rule. We just need to keep it right. Remember, following the right thing results a better impact for us, everyone.
Thank you for your fantastic poem. Really loved it that much.
Your friend, strwbrryyy
Hi stegosaurus jessiebear hear to rite a review.
Ok I love the poem I think it rimes well and I cant fined any spelling mistakes.
What I think needs fixing is the fall stops. And I think you could ad a little bite more in sum of the sentences. But that is all I think needs to be fixt but I am ok if you don't wont to ad what I seed. But I do hope I did not sound rood.
Hello! I'm here reviewing this! I'm Waddlers!
First thing I notice is the lack of capital letters. Shame on you! D:< Just kidding, but still, CAPITALS!!! They are very important! I guess XD
Secondly, I'm not a professional on poetry, so I was just wondering, what are these: "roam--", "path--", "away--". They also look slightly odd, but if they're meant to be there, then just ignore me! XD
It goes:
14 syllables
11 syllables
16 syllables
14 syllables
then:
12 syllables
13 syllables
10 syllables
13 syllables
then:
14 syllables
14 syllables
12 syllables
10 syllables
To make a poem flow, they usually have a syllables pattern, so maybe if you switch words and adjust to equal out the syllables it would flow more. ^U^ Just a thought. Poems are generally supposed to flow to make them sing song-y - it would be more poetic, I suppose!
All these things aren't focusing on what it's about and what it's about is very intruiging! I'd very much like to know what you meant it to be about! Just wandering? idk, but it's a poem that would make you think!!
Love your icon, btw! - Waddlers
Thank you for the review!