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Hello! I'm an inexperienced poet so whatever I say in this review is probably complete and utter nonsense, but I hope some of it is vaguely helpful.
First thing:
Loved the structure. I heard recently that poets are often artists and I feel this piece reflects that.
Second thing:
I'm glad there isn't much punctuation in this. It just makes it flow much more easily. Which is why I'm wondering what the purpose of the dash after the first and is for.
Third thing:
I read this aloud pausing whenever I had to draw breath. It sounded amazing, as if the words were just spiralling out of my mouth.
Last thing:
The only bit I didn't like was "I want to fly and I do". I think the line "I want to fly" makes it feel like you long to fly but can't, and then when you say that you do it contradicts this.
Overall, great poem. Loved the imagery and style, the format was clever and I look forward to reading more. Keep writing!
Ebony
Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! Grim is here as well, drinking hot cocoa and being a slacker. *Grim looks over, glaring* So, lets get started.
So, first thing I notice is that well, nothing! I take that you not adding commas and such into the poem is your style choice, which I will respect. The poem flowed well too.
Now is when I dissect your poem and see if I can't get its meaning right! So, in your poem you are telling us, the reader, that when we write, sometimes we have too much to say, to get out into the world. Our ideas cloud our thoughts and instead of the best coming out, the worst does. You can't fully concentrate. And maybe its people, not just your thoughts.
Overall, I liked the poem and keep up the good work! Happy Halloween! I really need to go now Grim has souls to reap and he needs more cocoa. He has a problem, seriously. Cheerio and fruit loops to you!
Hi, this is ZeldaIsShiek here to review another cryptic poem with a lot of meaning! I can not wait to start telling you how amazing your work is, so let's cut to the chase! Begin!
The title of this poem is repeated throughout the poem, and I think that is very appropriate for the type of poem you have written. Some words have their characters separated by spaces, some are spelled wrong, and some are just WeiRdd! This adds to the "vomit" and makes the title feel more fitting and more realistic for what the poem represents and what it means to the writer. Great word choice! I usually go over grammatical errors, but all the ones I could find were probably intentional.
Now, let's get into the poem's meaning. The "word vomit" is the flow of ideas, songs, poems, and stories that are flowing out of the author's head and onto paper. They can't control it; you could say it even controls them. At the end of the poem, the author states that they "word vomit" takes form, and they become their ideas. That could mean they are now accepting of their own ideas, and they have stopped trying to keep their creativity in.
That's all for now. Happy Review Day!
-ZeldaIsShiek