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Frost Lark News 9/11/16

by Sheyren


Frost Lark News                                                         9/11/16

Today's issue is brought to you by rioting and disregard for the rules that keep order and safety's fragile existence from collapsing in a painful yet spectacular display. In the print factory, riots have broken out. Our ungrateful journalists, who even have been paid to write, are protesting that they want to get some credit for the articles they write, in the articles they write. Isn't that ridiculous? But, since I, the manager of the printing factory, have resorted to locking myself in the bomb shelter under the basketball court in the Frost Lark Park to escape them, it looks like they will get there way. Under this is a list of all journalists plus any other worker in the factory, except the janitors, of course. Since after all, we aren't allowed to know they exist. Starting next issue, all articles will be signed by the corresponding journalist.

Susan Graham- Manager of Printing Factory and Head Journalist

Spencer Sharp- Co-director of Printing Factory and Journalist

Ginger Murray- Journalist

Markus Gerald- Journalist

Erick Harvey- Journalist and Caretaker of Prisoners

Orlando Clayton- Journalist

Skyla Holt- Journalist

Sonja Wallace- Journalist and Secretary of Treasury

We regret to inform you that Mayor Jerald Stewart has stepped down from mayor. A representative of The Frost Lark Governmental Force of Domestic Affairs has put out the following statement on the matter. “It is quite a sad day for Frost Lark, as Mayor Stewart is stepping down. It had been assumed he would run for another term, but apparently that is not happening. This is not suspicious, and definitely had nothing to do with us. For sure,” they said, putting emphasis on all the short “S” sounds before screeching and evaporating into a cloud of toxic gas. It is quite unusual- they referred to the mayor as Mayor Stewart, and not Mayor Jerald Stewart. Must be personal preference. Well, as usual, the election will be held on the last Sunday of September. The vigorous selection process rages on, and many candidates are dropping out of the race. With an entire 27 kilometers to go, it looks as though the options will be very narrowed down. Maybe this year, as unusual as it sounds, we'll only have two candidates. Wouldn't that be awful? What if you like neither? What if they are diametrically opposed?

Survey

What is the strongest emotion you have felt in the past ten minutes?

a) Respite

b) The Smell of Parmesan Cheese

c) Blissful happiness which convinces me I can fly

d) E.M.O.T.I.O.N.

e) I have not existed in the past ten minutes.

ADVERTISEMENT SPACE

Life is cold.

ADVERTISEMENT SPACE

If you're hungry, you could try our bagels. They have a 90% death rate! Isn't that great?! Dunkin Donuts- America runs on Dunkin... Not that this is America or anything...

A french girl has joined our local middle school today. Actually, she joined about a week ago. We attempted to talk to her, since we rarely get people to move here, however she appears to only speak in dead languages, and so we couldn't understand a word she said! Her parents apparently are the only ones who can understand her, so looks like you'll need to speak with them if you want to converse with her. She is diagnosed with an illness where her tongues and vocal chords can only move that to speak in the aforementioned dead languages.

ANOTHER message has been printed onto our newspapers! This is getting ridiculous! Why doesn't the government actually do something about it rather than just acknowledge its existence and say they will fix it soon yet really forgets about several days later?!

Et mihi iterum. Numquam tam vigiles inherere facio mihi. Ego novi puella Gallica. Ego sum multis. Memento illucescente ultima septimana sunt carceris? Me. Quam ad vandalism duo weeks ago? Si hoc non legere vellem tamen fatendum est quod non possis audire sermones et si non satisfactione actu recipere poterunt. O bene. Major ego cogito facere. Paratos esse. Nam quodcumque facitis Gregorius fitzgerald suffragii non in comitiis maior. Oportet. I nunc eundum. Vale.


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Tue Feb 14, 2017 10:43 pm
BlueFeltrix says...



About the recent message, I never thought I'd say this but....Huh?




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61 Reviews


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Tue Feb 14, 2017 10:38 pm
BlueFeltrix says...



You're 99 too?! What are the odds?




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Tue Sep 13, 2016 1:04 am
Jaybird wrote a review...



Hi, Sheyren! Mage here to review your work! So let's get to it, shall we? :D

I will always love this. Like I've said many times, this reminds me so much of Welcome to Night Vale and I can't wait to read more of it. As people have said before me, the majority of this is great. There aren't that many things (if any) that need to be fixed.

Today's issue is brought to you by rioting and disregard for the rules that keep order and safety's fragile existence from collapsing in a painful yet spectacular display.


What a wonderfully entertaining and complex hook.

But, since I, the manager of the printing factory, have resorted to locking myself in the bomb shelter under the basketball court in the Frost Lark Park to escape them, it looks like they will get there way. Under this is a list of all journalists plus any other worker in the factory, except the janitors, of course. Since after all, we aren't allowed to know they exist.


Here's some nitpicky stuff about commas. If you ever have any questions about how to use commas correctly, you know where to find me. ^-^ The correct way to write this section with commas is the following:

"But, since I, the manager of the printing factory, have resorted to locking myself in the bomb shelter under the basketball court in the Frost Lark Park to escape them, it looks like they will get their way. Under this is a list of all journalists, plus any other worker in the factory. Except the janitors, of course. Since, after all, we aren't allowed to know they exist."

Some of the sentences were becoming long. They weren't run-on sentences, per say, but it was easier to read if you made some of the commas into periods. Also, I added commas where they were needed.

If you're hungry, you could try our bagels. They have a 90% death rate! Isn't that great?! Dunkin Donuts- America runs on Dunkin... Not that this is America or anything...


This seems unprofessional. I'd suggest changing it to something like this: "If you're hungry, have our bagels! They have a ninety percent death rate. Isn't that great? Dunkin' Donuts: America runs on Dunkin'. Not that this is America."

A french girl has joined our local middle school today.


"french" should be "French".

In summary, I love the tone of this piece and the humor conveyed in it! My main suggestions are related to commas and professionalism in the actual piece; two things that you can easily solve by doing some research, thinking things through while writing, and rereading at least once (hopefully out loud). Keep up the great work - which I doubt you'll have trouble with - and good luck on your writing endeavors! Have a great day/night! :D




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Mon Sep 12, 2016 12:56 am
RippleGylf wrote a review...



Hello! Ripple here.

I've only listened to a bit of the Night Vale stuff, (which I rather enjoyed, namely 'A Story About You,' I think. I'm not sure if that's the actual title...) but this definitely echoed Night Vale in a lot of ways.

As a disclaimer, I have not read any other segments of this project, so I am absolutely oblivious to any overarching plot things. However, after reading this, I may just have to read the rest. ;)

First of all, I love the tone that you convey with this piece. I don't know how to describe it aside from comparing it to Night Vale. Darkly humorous, maybe? (At least through some implications.)

Like TheSilverFox, I have very few critiques to give you. However, one passage really struck me as out of place.

ANOTHER message has been printed onto our newspapers! This is getting ridiculous! Why doesn't the government actually do something about it rather than just acknowledge its existence and say they will fix it soon yet really forgets about several days later?!


The first couple of sentences here seem not quite as professional as the rest of the work. This may be where my ignorance of the situation is affecting my interpretation of the situation, but why complain about the message inserted into the newspaper before the reader gets to it? And if you can still edit it at that point, why leave it in?

I do like the jab at the government for completely ignoring the situation, though. :D

Overall, it was a really entertaining read, and I absolutely loved it. Keep writing!




Sheyren says...


Thank you for the review!



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Sun Sep 11, 2016 11:24 pm
TheSilverFox wrote a review...



Hello there, Sheyren! Since I've been reading through these stories/articles, and haven't provided so much as a review until now, I thought it would be appropriate to actually do so, and give some of my thoughts and criticisms. So, let's begin!

...I still love this so much. XD

Well done! I completely enjoyed this newspaper entry, as like the others, you manage to strike this perfect sense of dissonance between the tone of the paper and the content. With a bizarre series of events focused around the mayoral election - including the strange retirement of the mayor and the suspicious associated with it, as well as Latin text that Soup indicates involves a potentially new candidate - I still find it hilarious how the manage is only annoyed by his staff being a tad rebellious (and having to flee under a basketball court, of all places). Not the janitors, of course, since they clearly don't exist. But yeah, the behavior of this story is fascinating and amusing, particularly when it comes to your clever wording and the hints that you're dropping here. By now, these newspaper entries have become a lot more connected, and I can already see the beginning of a complex and amusing plot in the history of Frost Lark developing. What with the mayoral election, the strange ads, and the Caretaker of Prisoners, I imagine there's much left to be seen here. So, in terms of plot and theme, well done!

More specifically, there isn't many negatives I can find within the story. The writing is professional and sensible, and the descriptions of daily activities and surprises are communicated in great detail. Once more, the sheer number of implications and ideas you're throwing around is wonderful, particularly when it comes to the writers being paid, in the way that it's described as not normal, the strange girl who can only speak dead languages and a subsequent message that may be in a dead language, and the Force of Domestic Affairs, which are either supernatural or outright aliens. It helps develop the strange and almost humorous tone of the work, while making the audience curious to learn more about what is going on in Night Vale that seems to be glossed over so lightly. As a side note, I'd like to point out that, when you say, "Our ungrateful journalists, who even have been paid to write, are protesting that they want to get some credit for the articles they write, in the articles they right," I think you meant "write" instead of "right"? Otherwise, I haven't much else to say in that regard, although I'm honestly curious to see if Gregory Fitzgerald is going to have a diametrically opposed candidate, and if they'll run into each other and explode or something. Right now, that would not surprise me. XD

So, all in all, well done! This is a fun, bizarre, and complex story, and I've loved reading this! When it comes to your themes, hints, and the ideas you've scattered across for the audience to look up and theorize about, I'm incredibly impressed. Great job!




Sheyren says...


Thank you! I'm glad your enjoying it! (If you are, please leave a like because if you don't then, well, we know what happens. I'm sure you're aware that it will involve chicken broth and the venzuelan currency.) As I read your comment, I intended to recommend Welcome to Night Vale to you, but when you accidently referred to Frost Lark as Night Vale, I realized you already knew about it. Lol xD. Anyway, thanks for the helpful review... I totally missed my mistake with the Right Write (Darn homophones) obviously. Anyway, I'm glad to know your enjoying it!



Sheyren says...


Gracias for the like!



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Sun Sep 11, 2016 6:12 pm
StupidSoup says...



What if Gregory Fitzgerald is a bad candidate.




Sheyren says...


Hehehehehehehehehe I shall say no more




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