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139,359 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
This poem's so similar in style and content to Rodeo, it could almost be Rodeo II. I'd suggest making the two a sort of couplet somehow? I'm not sure if you can do that with poems, but I'm pretty sure you can.
That being said, I like this one better than Rodeo. Its meaning is less clear, but I like the imagery a lot and, again, wonderful job with the rhyme scheme.
I also love how I can feel the passion you have for rodeos in your two poems, so great job with that.
Hope this review helped.
Happy Review Day
-tgirly
Thank you! I like this one a lot more too, haha. c:
Lol. Great minds think alike I guess.
Haha, totally.
Hey Shadow! Lemony here, just returning the favour.
I like the rhyme scheme in this piece. It's quite suitable, and although I don't really like rhyming a lot, you managed to pull it off quite easily.
Maybe it's just me, but I had to read your first line quite a few times to understand it properly. I think if you wrote it like this:
it would be much better.
I really like the theme of the poem. It's very un-common, and it's always nice to read something new and different. I especially like how you've explained that the cowboys are determined and once they have accomplished what they needed to, even if they got hurt, they just run back to play poker and boast about their success. Although (again, maybe it's just me) in my opinion, I thought the last two paragraphs were supposed to mock cowboys.
The flow of this poem was alright at the beginning, but it became a little inconsistent over here:
After reading the first three stanzas, I felt like this was incomplete and I think you could add a little more to this. Maybe you could describe their frustration.
This stanza really put me off:
It felt like you forced those two lines to be written in such a way that it followed the format of the rest of the poem. If you could divide it into four lines, it might help the flow of the poem. Perhaps something like this:
Overall, I think you did a good job, but the flow was a major problem so you might want to fix that.
Keep Writing!
~Lemony