Late autumn fog pulls around the mountains like a mourning veil.
Cadavers are kin of fallen logs.
When the rigor mortis hits, they are the same,
both homes to things that love the night,
death, and decay. Rats’ whiskers twitch
a telegraph to the stars.
Hands are always reaching for things they cannot hold.
Candles aflame, or dimes in another’s pocket.
And the hands of logs (or cadavers: what's the difference anyhow?)
reach at the furthest stars. Their twigfingers petrify at the thought
of ever grasping the eyes so blazing
compared to their bodies' deadened knots and glassy stares.
But when snow falls upon the forested mountain tops,
the stars seem to spiral down in their glorious silence,
to land effortlessly in the bloodless palms
of the since departed.
And star by star, logs are covered by chilly sheets.
They sleep far from mortal eyes
until Snowdrop unveils them,
and spring has melted enough saltwater
to mourn again.
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138,167 Literary Works • 672,079 Reviews
Hi fort!
have a happy review day~
There is no possible way to top Night's review.
It took me a moment to remember what cadaver meant. I feel like it's a word that's used less often, and I like that you've used it here. Also, the comparison to logs: "(or cadavers: what's the difference anyhow?)" I love it! They're both lifeless, yet once living, lying on the ground, stiff. Wow. I wouldn't think of that as my first comparison! Very cool.
I love all the beautiful imagery in this poem, it's an amazing picture in my mind- beautiful with Snowdrops, yet morbid because of the dead bodies that are found when the snow melts away.
Anyway, really nothing to change or suggest here!
-Falconer
Hey grill! Happy Review Day. I apologize ahead of time for this review; I very rarely attempt to review poetry, much less beautifully crafted ones such as this. I'll do my best.
I have to say: I adore this poem. I think it's astounding, really. The morbid atmosphere of it gave a chilling, yet gorgeous new light to something as cliche as the topic of death. Few can describe the bodies of the dead in a way that in not completely macabre, but lovely. The imagery was personal and unique, and I find myself actually wanting to draw the scene of stars descending to cover the dead. The imagery is that clear in my mind. I love it!
While I felt that most of the poem flowed extremely well and generally made sense, I am lost on the meaning of the very first few lines.
I found this introduction confusing. Of course, if we knew that no one were to die tonight, we would celebrate. But then the poem goes on to describe the bodies of the dead, and the scenery of the mountains, so obviously people did not halt their dying. I personally felt that if the first two lines were cut and the poem started at the line:
(which is one of my most favorite lines in history ever amen), it would make just as much sense. While the mention of the newspaper headlines intrigued me, I also didn't feel like it impacted the overall poem that much. What was your intent? It's such an interesting line by itself, I'm curious.
THIS. <3333 This entire metaphor is my favorite, this stanza was beautiful, the mention and my understanding of rigor mortis made me feel intelligent, and this whole section made me very very happy. ^-^
However, the line at the end of it threw me. While I loved the rat's telegraphs, I didn't understand the line
I've been mulling it over and I'm still not quite sure where gears came from. Neither logs nor cadavers have them, so I was thinking that perhaps it was referring to the decay of the body, the slow workings of nature, but even that I felt was a stretch. I appreciated the connection of two creatures of the night that help speed along the decomposition process, but I didn't understand the line in full. Enlighten me? It sounds lovely but the meaning was lost on me.
Ugh. It's too good for me. The rhythmic qualities and vocab and imagery and asdfghjkl. It's too good. <3
I feel foolish, but am I correct in this line meaning that when Spring arrives, and the flowers bloom (hence the Snowdrop flowers), that is when the snow melts and the bodies/logs are exposed? I had to think about this line for a while, and hope that I am correct. Either way, I love the name of the flowers and the poem.
This ending is also incredible. I loved the personification of spring and the beautiful idea that tears (or rain) must first be thawed in order for it to mourn.
Overall, I seriously love this poem. It's so chock full of metaphors, imagery, personification, etc., that I'm sure an English teacher could use it for butchering. XD I've reread it a few times and I found more meaning each time I did. You have such a gift, fort. It's amazing. ^-^
I hope that I helped at all, with all my misguided questions and compliments galore. XD Happy Review Day, and keep writing and being fabulous!
~Night
Wow this was a pretty amazing review too!
You caught all the parts that I stuck in there being like, "maybe no one will notice...?"
This poem originally started out much different. "Snowdrop" was not part of it at all. The original poem was kind of a description of an image, I mean, that's how I wrote it. But it read like it too. There was no real purpose or insight in the poem. Lovely Aley pointed this out to me, and I tried to make it more purposeful. That's when Snowdrop came to me. The parts you pointed out (the newspaper, the snail) were parts left from the original that I liked too much to throw out, and I thought, maybe it's not as disconnected as I think it is! But because you pointed them out, I know they are, so I'm not going to delude myself any further, and I'm just gonna snip them out. Thank you!
And yes, "Snowdrop" is a Russian term meaning exactly what you supposed it did! The snow melts and dead bodies that were covered all winter are uncovered. Great work on that. It's such a pretty term for something so gruesome, isn't it?
Thanks again for the review!
Oh good.
Glad I wasn't missing huge chunks. I really adored this poem, and it's such an interesting topic! No problem. ^-^