Please help me with the words I cannot say.
Please form my mouth around the vowel sounds.
I'm stuttering on every s and t.
S-s-st-st-st-stut-tut-ter-er-ing.
My fingers are refusing to complete
the very sentences I try to
to
to
I can't seem to
to
to
it's away from my mind,
lack forethought
lead disrupted thoughts
by its hand
inconsistent actions
and plenty of
of
of
take a hint
take a mint
take a hit
for me?
i can't rhyme
bide your time
i'm screaming inside,
can't you hear
hear
hear
...?
focus now
it's your show
all this slaughter
so much laughter
I can't
i can't
can't
't
stabbing heartbeats in your spine
show me what it is to live
my headache is the sunset sky
my cramps clamps they hold towers high
yet again we see how it all comes together in the
the
the
end.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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130,389 Literary Works • 671,513 Reviews
This was beautiful! The most uplifting poem I've heard today, actually read. It was very vibrant with your feelings flowing through very easily. The stuttering made it seem more real somehow. Go figure why... I love poems, and continue to review tons of them everyday. Some really shock me, others not so much. You outdid yourself in this poem. I felt like this was actually speaking rather than just words. Anyways, time for the rest of the review!
BYE!
As usual I like to review two things in every poem. The first is feelings, the second wording. So here we go! 1) Feelings: Like I said, this was perfect! You get full points for this! 2) Wording: The way you wrote it seemed more real. Like the poem was real, and that everything said in it was coming to life. You did an amazing job! If I scored you from one to ten, you'd get ten. It was just that awesome!
Anyways, gotta go, and really hate to cut this short. You did an awesome job, and I hope you write more of these as soon as you can. Have an awesome day, in fact, and awesome week! May you find a four-leaf clover today (or tonight depending on your time zone).
~Laelle
Hey there Reviewing for Team WHY?
Your works are always so refreshingly unique. This has a very nice visual to it . General, General ?I am not sure if this is supposed to be romantic or just someone going insane with pain . This poem makes me feel really narrow minded I'm sorry >.< I did like how eerie it felt , I really think this person is going completely insane. I loved the line "stabbing heartbeats in your spine" because it showed the urgency and how this person feels, we have all had those crazy racing pulses . But the last line where it trickled down to the end really beautifully ties your piece together . Though I still really don't know what's going on.... crazy person?
Sorry I wasn't more insightful
~Kat
Very creative poem here! I haven't been doing many reviews because I'm saving them for later on Review Day, but I want to get this one out of the Green Room. It gave me a very clear picture of what you were trying to say in an almost completely random way. Large parts of your poem are left open to interpretation, and I liked that.
'stabbing heartbeats in your spine' was my favorite bit of description in there, by the way, but it was rather hard to choose.
Hey, FireBird99 here for a review!
I won't be much help with the critiquing of this poem. I can tell you that this poem was very unique in its own way. I've never really seen a poem like this before. I love the stuttering. It makes it like a jagged rhyming. I felt the frustration of the person that stutters and it reminded me to be patient with people who stutter. I know a few people who do.
This is my favorite part. I like how you gave an example of the way you stutter and the way you did it was genius haha. Sorry I couldn't be of more help!
Keep up the good writing.
~Fire